10 Worst Places to Make Out
When you’re in love, it’s hard to keep your hands off each other, but sometimes you really should, especially if you’re in one of these awkward situations.
1. In Front Of Your Parents
Not only is it embarrassing to be caught making out in front of your mom, but there’s no way you’re going to get past first base with her standing there, watching. She might even give you some advice!
2. During Bible Study
Song of Solomon might be one hot, sexy Bible chapter, but try to contain your horniness while at Bible study. Jesus doesn’t like it when you hook up in front of the Bible.
Yes, France is very romantic and passionate, which is why you see so many people kissing there…including this guy. Nothing cools you off as much as seeing pasty-white guy in a hot-pink thong.
4. In A Lion Cage
His breath might taste sweetly of raw meat and carrion, but lions are not good kissers. Their tongues are huge and often slurp up your nose, and their lips are really hairy. And when you’re done, he might rip off your head and eat it.
If you’re making out in McDonald’s, then you’re probably on a date, and only cheap bastards take their ladies to the Golden Arches for dinner. But don’t worry… after your date walks out on you, you can make it with Ronald.
6. Star Wars Convention
Unless you’re “in character,” kissing at a Star Wars convention is mean. There’s no need to rub in the fact that you have a real, live woman to a convention-hall group of people who’ve never seen a boob in real life.
7. Inside A Volcano
You’re already hot and bothered—you’re only going to be hotter inside a volcano. Then, when you get home, your hair is going to smell all smoke, so your mom might think you were smoking cigarettes and ground you.
8. In A Mirror
We know lots of people practice kissing by making out with the mirror, but this is dangerous for two reasons: 1. The mirror might spoil you for other women, and 2. The mirror version of yourself could develop sentience while you’re making out and drag you through the mirror to an alternate dimension ruled by bees.
No one likes being a prison bitch!
10. Camp Crystal Lake
The easiest way to get brutally murdered by an insane serial killer is for him to catch you hooking up, especially if you’re counselors at Camp Crystal Lake. If Jason comes stalking, those boots better not be knocking.
Can you think of any other terrible places to make out?