15 Horrible Kids’ Party Entertainers

If you want to throw a party for your seven-year-old brother and his school friends, it’s nice to hire entertainment. Just don’t hire these acts.

 

1. Everyone Loves a Clown

But not this one.

 

2. Sexy Grandpa Balloon Man

Balloon critter makers are always popular with the little ones. Just avoid sexy grandpa balloon men.

 

3. Gay Cowboy

Cowboy-themed birthday parties are the BEST. Just make sure you don’t accidentally hire a gay cowboy wearing pink chaps... unless your kid is into that sort of thing.

 

4. Juggalos

Jugglers? Perfect for a kids’ party.

Juggalos? NO.

 

5. This Guy

Okay, he can pump iron and do the splits, but do you really want him playing with little kids?

 

6. Stoner Trivia

Children love party games, but Stoner Trivia isn’t for kids. Not only will it tick off your mom, but seven-year-olds probably won’t know too many pot facts.

 

7. Homeless Guitar Player

Kiddies love musical entertainment, but we have to wonder what songs this guy is gonna sing…

 

8. Cross-dressing Stripper

Strippers are never appropriate for kids’ parties, especially when you can't tell if it's a she or a he?

 

9. Superhero Fail

If you're going to get a superhero to perform at your party, just make sure he won't confuse the kids.

 

10. Freaky Magician

Who knows what this guy will pull out of his hat???

 

11. Bad Santa

For your next holiday party, DON’T hire this Santa.

 

12. Rattlesnake Petting Zoo

Goats and lambs and ponies are FUN! Rattlesnakes are not.

 

13. Body Piercers

What do you think your mom would do if this guy showed up?

 

14. Celebrity Impersonator

A Hit-Girl impersonator would be cool. Just make sure she doesn't kill anyone.

A George Bush impersonator would NOT.

 

15. Gwar

Need we say more?

 

Check Out 11 People You Don't Want At Your Party!