15 Horrible Kids’ Party Entertainers
If you want to throw a party for your seven-year-old brother and his school friends, it’s nice to hire entertainment. Just don’t hire these acts.
1. Everyone Loves a Clown
But not this one.
2. Sexy Grandpa Balloon Man
Balloon critter makers are always popular with the little ones. Just avoid sexy grandpa balloon men.
3. Gay Cowboy
Cowboy-themed birthday parties are the BEST. Just make sure you don’t accidentally hire a gay cowboy wearing pink chaps... unless your kid is into that sort of thing.
Jugglers? Perfect for a kids’ party.
5. This Guy
Okay, he can pump iron and do the splits, but do you really want him playing with little kids?
6. Stoner Trivia
Children love party games, but Stoner Trivia isn’t for kids. Not only will it tick off your mom, but seven-year-olds probably won’t know too many pot facts.
7. Homeless Guitar Player
Kiddies love musical entertainment, but we have to wonder what songs this guy is gonna sing…
8. Cross-dressing Stripper
Strippers are never appropriate for kids’ parties, especially when you can't tell if it's a she or a he?
9. Superhero Fail
If you're going to get a superhero to perform at your party, just make sure he won't confuse the kids.
10. Freaky Magician
Who knows what this guy will pull out of his hat???
11. Bad Santa
For your next holiday party, DON’T hire this Santa.
12. Rattlesnake Petting Zoo
Goats and lambs and ponies are FUN! Rattlesnakes are not.
13. Body Piercers
What do you think your mom would do if this guy showed up?
14. Celebrity Impersonator
A Hit-Girl impersonator would be cool. Just make sure she doesn't kill anyone.
A George Bush impersonator would NOT.
Need we say more?