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7 Signs Your Teacher Might Be A Porn Star

Posted By: Desi Jedeikin on 03.14.11

Last week a St. Louis teacher resigned after it was revealed that she had conveniently left ‘making porno’ off of her resume. St. Louis science teacher Tera Myers did some pornos back in the 1990s under the name Rikki Andersin and somehow one of her students uncovered the mystery! It got me thinking… what if your teacher’s extracurricular activities included being an adult film star? How would you know? More importantly… what about the children? Here are some signs that your teacher may be focused on more than just the three R’s—they just might be focusing a little on the triple X’s as well.

She Throws A Lot Of Pizza Parties

It is a scientifically proven fact that porn stars can not resist pizza delivery boys, pool boys or plumbers. And yes, cool teachers do occasionally throw pizza parties to reward their classes. They do not, however, throw weekly parties, pay the delivery person in the privacy of the supply closet and say things like “I have your tip right here.” Suspicion doubles if the pizza delivery boy is actually a hot chick.

They’re Named After A Luxury Item

Chanel, Diamond, Chardonnay, Lexus, Cashmere—these names are more classless than classroom. To be fair, it is also possible that they are not porn stars, but that they are actually moonlighting as a featured dancer at the local seedy strip club, The Boobie Bungalow. Either way they need to be punished, but they’d probably be into that… Damn you, kinky fetishes!

They Have A Porn ‘Stache

Only two types of guys sport this ‘stache—hipsters and porn stars. So unless he called in sick the day the White Stripes broke up, he probably spends his free time acting badly, in the nude in an empty rented McMansion.

Their Plastic Surgery Costs More Than A Teacher Earns In A Year

With an average teacher, students do their best to avoid D’s and never want to hear their teacher call them a bad student. If the teacher is a porn star, students do their best to avoid staring at her double D’s, while fantasizing of failing just to hear her call them a bad, bad boy.

Inappropriate Wardrobe

Teachers should wear sweater sets and sensible shoes, not body stockings and leather chaps. Be on the lookout if your teacher is more S & M than H &M.

They Always Say Boom Chicka Wah Wah When A Girl Bends Over

Porn dudes are triggered by anything remotely sexual. It’s a professional hazard. But as pros they know how to turn it off as quickly as they turn it on. As soon as those words leave their mouth, they pull out their instant cold shower—a photo-shopped nude of Rosie O’Donnell. If they’re always saying “boom chicka wah wah” and love going commando in baggy sweats, they’re just your creepy gym teacher.

Charlie Sheen Picks Them Up After School

Winners do not date public service employees. Unless they are also the star of Teacher’s Pet and Hot for Teacher IV: After School Special. Then they can totally have a looksie at his antique machete.

What are some other signs your teacher might be a porn star? Let us know in the comments!

Is Porn More Dangerous Than Drugs?

Tags: 7, a, be, books, education, learning, might, porn, school, signs, star, teacher, your

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45 Comments

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HolyBlondeCheer...

8 weeks ago

Dean! Lmao! He might firetruck a porn star but he is no porn star!

34 weeks ago

=O my adv. Comm arts teacher is a porn star!

38 weeks ago

lulz.....dean!!!

38 weeks ago

why did they put dean from supernatural on there!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yes he can be a bit of a perv but he is not a pornstar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

42 weeks ago

hehehee..... Sausage McBigTits.....

43 weeks ago

FOLLOW THESE STEPS 1. COVER YOUR MOUTH 2. WHISPER A WISH INTO YOUR HANDS 3. POST THIS ON TO TEN OTHER COMMENTS 4. LOOK AT YOUR HAND

60 weeks ago

wish i had soom like that when i was young.

61 weeks ago

i have a couple of teachers in my high school with tramp stamps.

61 weeks ago

I really <3 you for that awesome Dean motivator right now!
xD

61 weeks ago

that plastic surgeried blondie one's an argentinian "model"/pornstar is called 'luciana salazar'

oh, sometimes we can be so proud of our country.

61 weeks ago

Me: now i know what i wanna be when i grow up
Friend: a pornstar
Me: no, a gym teacher

CreepyGreenLight

61 weeks ago

"love going commando in baggy sweats" + Jensen Ackles = ... hehe xD

61 weeks ago

He must have found out for himself if he's the only one! ;)

YukiKurabayashi

61 weeks ago

LOL at the gym teacher!! Go Jensen/Dean!! xD

ashleymenard122

61 weeks ago

HELL YAH JENSEN ACKLES woot!!! meow! hahaha... :-P

62 weeks ago

Hmm, mabey my teacher is a porn star

62 weeks ago

googling that name.
so are you!

62 weeks ago

I flirt woth my old math pervertwd teacher and he gives me A's its great to b hott

62 weeks ago

Woah last year in gr. 12 we totally had a supply teacher who was rocking the porn stache.

62 weeks ago

★surprise★believe you will love it.very good web.
Hello. My friend
== http://www.shoesforking.com
good

62 weeks ago

Signs that you have teachers hitting on you. You are Zonex1a.

62 weeks ago

My art teacher used to be a porn star. Me and my friends watched a couple of her videos and I never looked at her the same way again.

62 weeks ago

My art teacher used to be a porn star. Me and my friends watched a couple of her videos and I never looked at her the same way again.

62 weeks ago

maybe you can find answers here:
===== http://mcaf.ee/b5e0c/ =========
DIOR SUNGLASS,DG SUNGLASS$15
===== http://mcaf.ee/b5e0c/

62 weeks ago

maybe you can find answers here:
===== http://mcaf.ee/b5e0c/ =========
DIOR SUNGLASS,DG SUNGLASS$15
===== http://mcaf.ee/b5e0c/

62 weeks ago

another sign: if they were in an old van halen video. y'know, before sammy hagar ruined it.

RandomCookiePeople

62 weeks ago

i think my eng. teacher might b a pornstar O.O when a dude drops his pencil she picks it up in slo-mo and its super creepy

comicshadowgirl

62 weeks ago

OMG its Jensen Ackles :3 i love him

Tomthewierdodunno

62 weeks ago

I want a pornstar teacher / peedo (only teenagers though xD)

62 weeks ago

Great Teats (:

62 weeks ago

Loved the use of Dean for the gym teacher one! :) Supernatural!

62 weeks ago

I KNOW! Another Way To Know Ur Teachers A Pornstar is that they give the other male teachers the eye or u c her tryin to be smexy next to a male worker

62 weeks ago

The funny thing is, my ethics-relgion teacher in grade 8 is a porn actress... I guess that's why she mysteriously my school

62 weeks ago

Charlie Sheen wins again.
Anyways, in regards to that story, I call absolute shame out on that student for finding the movie, and secondly for confronting her. He ruined her life. Little brat.

62 weeks ago

LOL!

62 weeks ago

YES!! Dean in Supernatural (the gym teacher) :D :D :D

CornerOfMystery

62 weeks ago

OMG!! Charlie Sheen always pick my teacher up after school x3

CornerOfMystery

62 weeks ago

OMG!! Charlie Sheen always pick my teacher up after school x3

62 weeks ago

LLLOOOLLL...i live here in rural st. louis area and this is still super funny xD

62 weeks ago

O_O one of the subs at my school fits this....

62 weeks ago

THIRD!

62 weeks ago

so truee

62 weeks ago

3rd

62 weeks ago

ONONODSGs

62 weeks ago

Lol! xD

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