Funny Things To Say During That Sexy Time

Among the vast number of reasons that I am still single, is that I am rarely serious. I am a firm believer that every situation is rife with comedy and most people take themselves way to seriously. There are, of course, a few situations that are inappropriate for comedy - funerals, car accidents and Two and a half men (that show just blows). But intercourse does not fall into this category.

To all of the girls I have loved before I apologize for the following exclamations, so of which you may have heard at the height of our sexy times.

 

Release The Kraken!

You laughed your ass off and I will always remember that as the night we freaked your roomate out.

 

Show Me The Money!

This line actualy made you stop and question me. You were not curious as to why I said it but more curious as to why I yelled it 10 years after the movie was out.

 

If You Build It, He Will Come!

I still have no idea why you chose this one to be mad about. Its from Field of Dreams.

 

Here's Johnny!

You didn't even seem surprised, I must be loosing my touch.

 

Open The Pod Bay Doors, HAL.

Ok, maybe this was a little geeky, but the break-up email that followed shortly after reinforced the fact that you are not a Sci-Fi fan.

 

My Precious!

I know you never understood that this line was from Lord Of The Rings, and not just me calling you my precious, but to avoid any embarrassment I just spent the next year calling you my precious.

 

Nobody Puts 'Baby' In A Corner!

This was the only time that I ever was broken up with on the spot. I understand that is was a special time and romantic and bla bla bla. I will miss you and always remember you but it was totally worth it!

What's your favorite euphemism?

 

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