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Mastering the Art of the 'Guy Friend'

Posted By: Melanie on 05.20.10

Every girl I know wants to have guy friends, but they all fail miserably in the process of making them. They just don't get the mentality of a guy and what it means to be friends with them.

Luckily for you ladies, I have spent my entire life studying the male psyche. I have numerous guy friends who all serve different purposes in my life. Sort of. Having a guy friend when you're a chick is the best friend you could possibly have in social situations, because they can be a great wingman (every girl looks cuter when she's on the arm of another guy), they can be an amazing bodyguard, and they can do an assortment of other things females simply suck at (raking leaves, opening pickle jars, growing beards, etc).

I've profiled a few of my guy friends so you can truly see what it takes to get a good guy friend...and keep him.

The Adventurous One

Where to find them: Parks, Beaches, the Bug Spray Aisle in Target

He's the guy who will call you randomly and say "Hey! Want to go kayaking up a river and see where we end up? Grab your bathing suit!" I love going on adventures, and I would always rather share a (possibly dangerous) rendezvous with a male who will be willing to hook my worm for fishing or make a bonfire for camping.

Warning: Although these guys are amazing to have around, they will try to get with you. Most likely by snuggling up to you in your sleeping bag or by coaxing you into skinny dipping with them. DO NOT FALL FOR THESE TRAPS, IT WILL RUIN YOUR FRIENDSHIP.

The Tough One

Where to find them: Gyms, Rugby Matches, the Shores of New Jersey

Imagine a giant pink teddy bear you win at a fair. Okay, this guy will not only win you the bear, but he'll also threaten the carny's life for even thinking of hitting on you. They're good to bring to parties if you don't know the situation very well, because they'll always kick someone's ass if they try anything funny. These guys tend to be very possessive with their girls, especially girls they care about, so only go about befriending one if you're not planning on having a boyfriend any time soon.

Warning: 'Roids make boys testes shrink and their egos grow, so if you want to befriend one of these guys, they might expect a little more than just friendship. Be clear with them or you won't be friends. You'll be dinner.

The Nerdy One

Where to find them: Libraries, the Table in the Corner of the Cafeteria, Magic: The Gathering Competitions

These boys are the easiest to become friends with because they tend to be lacking in the friend area. They are good for girls with low self-esteem because they will always shower you with compliments. And who doesn't like a daily ego boost? The best part about nerdy guy friends is that they're pretty harmless. Cons to a nerdy guy friend is that you have to endure their social awkwardness and constant "Battlestar Galactica" babble.

Warning: Though he won't push you to hook up with him, he will love you forever. So prepare yourself for undying, unrequited love.  

The Funny One

Where to find them: Your Mom's House

Most of the guy friends I keep around is because they make me laugh. They may be hideous freaks, but they're HILARIOUS freaks. And girls, let's face it, we just aren't funny unless we're fat, ugly, or lesbians (or some combination of the three). These guys will make you smile no matter how crappy your day was before you talked to them.

Warning: Funny guys tend to think that because you laugh at their fart jokes, that means you're interested in them. Sometimes, they'll throw out a really unfunny joke just to test you and see if you're really laughing or laughing because you think they're cute. DON'T LAUGH IF THEY'RE NOT FUNNY OR THEY'LL GET THE WRONG IDEA.

The Gay One

Where to find them: Look Around

I'm not sure what the hype is about having gay best friends, but I have like seven, and they're all just like having girl friends (except they posses penises). So I guess if you want a guy friend without the hassle of worrying that they will want to hook up with you, the gay friend is the best one for you.

Warning: You won't turn him straight.

Which guy friend do you prefer?

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Tags: article on guys, funny relationships, photos, the guy friend

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42 Comments

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Ameranda

7 weeks ago

dude, my best guy friend is mixture of gamer and funny guy, hes the BEST, never forget the gamers, I am one too

britt_vision

75 weeks ago

You forgot the Duckie. Every girl needs one. They make you feel wanted and will be there for you when you need a shoulder to cry on.

bipolarsemigothchick

78 weeks ago

what happened to the music guy? they are HOT!

Smosh15000

81 weeks ago

one other thing, here's a tip from an actual guy, NEVER EVER try to flirt in front of the tough guy, i've seen so many girls do that, and then they're out of school for like two months (put 2 and 2 to

MelaElf

83 weeks ago

where's the muso guy friend? nearly all my guy friends are extremely musical

Lilbug121

91 weeks ago

my best guy friend is a toatal nerd...but then, so am i.

FAlcOnPuncH2011

96 weeks ago

more than half of my friends are guys but my favorites are my funny gay friends because they are hilarious and i dont have to worry about them trying to flirt with me (n_n)

soulsistah102

97 weeks ago

i usually like the funny ones and the gays :) i befriended a nerd guy before... ur right about the warning, lol. it was awkward when i'd try to flirt with ANOTHER guy and he was right there...

Miss-Horsez

98 weeks ago

most of my guy friends are the funny type, and I've got one nerdy and one (I think) gay one. The best thing about them is their great ego's; guys aren't easily hurt. :)

factimcoolerthenyou

102 weeks ago

hey, I'm really funny & I'm gorgeous, sister.
AND I like boys.
so yoou may suck my left nut. :)
in a non-lesbian way of course.

minda272

103 weeks ago

bastard

seeing i i can say it, sorry!

minda272

103 weeks ago

candy

carlac1992

103 weeks ago

i am the master of having guy friends =]

FFTA2

104 weeks ago

hm... ¬¬

TheNewbyGirl

104 weeks ago

Which ones are Ian and Anthony?
Perhaps Charlie could answer this one too...

ceeryill

104 weeks ago

all of my friends are in all of those categories xDD haha

RikkuHawkins12

104 weeks ago

lol rofl i see lot of though except Tough Guys

laughoutloud567

104 weeks ago

i have LOADSSSS of funny guy friends - i love the funny guys they're just so funny XD

boxmanxD2

104 weeks ago

candy firetruck ass bitch crumpet dick pussy.....cat just tryin to see witch ones i can and cant say haha oopz almost forgot one cock ha

goshdarnitalex

104 weeks ago

Fat 'n funny.

gabrock

104 weeks ago

or the fat and funny type.. but the worst is .. bff if you mess with her bff maybe juste a little she will stab you in the eye with a fork or anything she can have xD

gabrock

104 weeks ago

i am funny , Tough and Adventurous but i have only one girl '' friend'' the other one act like Bit** when my ex leave my.. u can make a article about girl minding like.. the BFF type the PARTY TIME ty

MrsAlissaPadilla101

104 weeks ago

a gay friend he will help me with fashion and emotional stuff so a gay guy friend it made me laugh when you said your moms house for funny guy friends

bluecatslushie

104 weeks ago

i think id like the tough one the best!and also the funny one!

chrisi-bisi

104 weeks ago

stupid article. you had better ones, melanie. but hey, looking forward to the next one

smoshsfreakinfunny

104 weeks ago

It's kinda funny cuz I'd like to have a gay friend. Don't know why :D But I'd also like the adventurous one. ^^

arantxa'roc...

104 weeks ago

the best is the funny guy, but you forgot to put the misterious man :P lol

Brookie_Be

104 weeks ago

The funny gay one. :) The best. Combo package!

Candy444

104 weeks ago

I mostly have funny guy friends but I prefer the gay friend cause they can help me cook.

GakuenAlicerox

104 weeks ago

The "warnings" are kind of annoying at how serious it sounds like it's trying to be >.> its guy-friends, not bear catching! All guy friends are are your friends that happen to be dudes xD

nynkr

104 weeks ago

the gay friend.
they are nice :)

blackXrose

104 weeks ago

i have funny, nerdy, hot, scene boy best friendss=] they're the best and we have sooooo much fun beung under the influence of EVERYTHING<3

Barbarakathy

104 weeks ago

I don't know... I guess the gay friend is the best option cause he would never fall for me and vice versa. Plus, he could help me do my hair and stuff :)

iluvsmosh8807

104 weeks ago

i think its pretty hard to keep guy friends, cause even if your straight with them from the start and let them know you just wanna be friends, they always try anyway and then bail on you when you reje