Very Best Of FMyLife: St. Patrick's Day Edition

FML Banner

St. Patrick's day is supposed to be about partying and fun, but no holiday is safe from an FML moment! That's where FMyLife.com comes in, collecting worst moments of our existance in one place. Here are some of the best FML moments for St. Pats day!

 

Sorry officer!

car

 

Today, I got a phone call from a detective in response to my stolen car that has been missing since St. Patrick's Day. He told me that he had found my car, but was chuckling the whole time. Turns out, I had parked my car in a different lot. I haven't had it for a week. It was never stolen. FML

 

 

 

 

Boyfriend of the year!

Fat Belly

 

Today, I was walking back to campus with my boyfriend when we passed an Irish pub called "Fat Belly's." He put his arm around me, patted my stomach, and said "Yay! It's your restaurant!" FML

 

 

 

 

 

Where my keys at?

keys

 

Today, I woke up after a night out drinking on my sofa, with an electric dog collar around my neck and handcuffs on my wrists. The keys were on the other side of the invisible doggy fence. FML

 

 

 

 

Pack your bags

ireland

 

Today, I was going to surprise my boyfriend at his family birthday celebration with a $2,000 trip he's always wanted, Ireland. Right before my gift, he had opened his mother's gift, an envelope containing a plane ticket. Guess where it was going? FML

 

 

 

 

Help!

window

 

Today, after a few beers, I was exiting the bathroom of a loud house party when the door jammed. I had to climb out through the shower window. It was fool proof until my foot got stuck. I hung outside the house upside down in the dark yelling for an hour before someone figured out where I was. FML

 

 

 

 

My bad

clothes

 

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

 

 

 

 

Not you!

cup

 

Today, my friends and I were celebrating Spring Break by going out to a club. I saw a very, very cute girl sipping a drink at the bar all by herself. Trying to be a stud I walked over and said "What are you doing Friday night?" Her response: "Not you." FML

 

 

 

 

You girls and your girly stuff

poop on face

 

Today, my new boyfriend was at my flat for the first time. He picked up something in the bathroom and said 'What the hell's this?'. I told him what it was for, and he said 'You girls and your weird female products. Who needs all this stuff?'. It wasn't a female thing. It was shampoo. FML

 

 

 

 

Sorry Nana!

green dress

 

Today, I found an old dress in my house laying around. I decided to dye it green to wear it out on St. Patrick's day. Turns out it was my grandmother's wedding dress that my sister was planning to wear for her wedding. FML

 

 

 

 

Never fall asleep on the subway...

sunburn

 

 

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after the party from the night before, which contained lots of booze and very spicy (indian) food. I wake up and notice a small boy on the seat in front staring at me, I smile at him, and then he turns to his father and says: "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

 

 

 

For more, check out FMyLife.com!

Check out last weeks Best Of FMyLife!