Very Best Of FMyLife: Vol 12

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Sometimes, life sucks so hard, there's only one thing to say... F My Life! That's where FMyLife comes in, collecting worst moments of our existence in one place. Here are some of the best FML moments this week!

 

Mmm... toast

Cat toaster

 

 

Today, my cat took a sh*t in my toaster. FML

 

 

 

 

 

Happy 420!

high

 

Today, I finally got the courage to talk to a guy I secretly like. I was so nervous that instead of saying, "Hi, I'm Veronica," I said, "Veronica, I'm high." FML

 

 

 

 

 

Understandable

Snake

 

Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML

 

 

 

 

Who doesn't like giggling

dislike

 

 

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

 

 

 

 

 

They grow up so fast...

pill

 

 

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked if we could go to the doctor and get her on "the pill." FML

 

 

 

 

 

Smack dat ass

dislike

 

Today, while bending over to get the brownies I was making out of the oven, my husband slapped my butt. I fell into the oven. FML

 

 

 

 

 

OnStar... HELP!

dog collar

 

Today, I freaked out when the remote wouldn't unlock my car. I stood in the rain trying to open the door. Unsure of what to do next, I called my boyfriend. He told me to "put the key in the door". I had forgotten about that option. FML

 

 

 

 

So, not Donald Trump then?

cup

 

 

Today, my wife told me that she was leaving me for someone with more hair. FML

 

 

 

 

 

Admit it. That is what you were doing.

breakup sub

 

Today, my girlfriend called me and asked what I was doing. I replied, "What I'm always doing." She couldn't think of anything besides eating. FML

 

 

 

 

 

AHHH! AAAAAAH!

sext

 

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

 

 

 

 

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Check out last weeks Best Of FMyLife!