Funny Articles

10 Best Magical Accessories From Movies

By  | 

Accessories, the unheralded sidekick to the bits of material that cover your junk. A lot of people overlook the importance of a good accessory in their wardrobe. But maybe they wouldn’t make that mistake if said items were imbued with magical properties. It would make thrift store shopping a lot more interesting at least if that grandma broach could breach time and space and not just the skin on your finger. Here are the best magical accessories in movies in the order of least to most useful in real life.

 

The One Ring, The Lord of The Rings

frodo

(source)

Sing it with me now! “One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them, One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.” Sure, dominion over the wills of all of Middle Earth seems like a good idea when you’re sporting it. It’s nice to have that rare trendy accessory everybody is after. But if you’re going to end up looking like Ren from Ren and Stimpy if he had mange and alopecia then is bearing the ring really worth it? It’s a good thing it makes some wearers invisible because nobody wants to see that. Except, you know, for the millions and millions of people buying tickets to see that on the big screen.

 

Sunglasses, They Live

they live

(source)

Nada, a blue collar worker with a mullet the size of patriotism itself, finds some sick shades in this 80s horror satire and begins to see the truth hidden all around him. And that intergalactic truth is that alien yuppies want us to obey and not question their slow destruction of our planet for their own selfish gain. Depleting our resources – like our vast stores of bubblegum. Unlucky for them that was the one thing keeping them alive.

 

Sneakers, Like Mike

like mike

(source)

A young, scrawny boy gets electrocuted while trying to rescue his g-string from a power line in the rain and becomes the best male stripper in all of Florida.

 

Power Ring, Green Lantern

”green

(source)

Often referred to as the most powerful weapon in the universe, there is no real power limit to the Green Lantern Corps power rings. Well, that is, if you remember to charge it the night before. Thanks for nothing iOS 7!

 

Time Turner, Harry Potter Series

”time

(source)

The Time Turner is a dangerous and helpful tool that is only used sparingly because it can often create more problems then it solves. For JK Rowling as a writer I mean. Can’t have everyone sporting these flashy things or who cares about consequences or just about any threat to characters? Bet Cedric Diggory wishes that he could go back to the third movie to put a bookmark that day in class.

 

Carpet Bag, Marry Poppins

mary poppins bag

(source)

I wouldn’t mess with a witch like Mary Poppins, she knows exactly where to hide the bodies where nobody would find them in the infinity that is her magic Carpet Bag. I would hate to be her bathroom buddy though, finding a tampon in there must be hell.

 

Cloak of Invisibility, Harry Potter Series

invisibility cloak

(source)

Except for maybe getting a little sweaty in direct sunlight, I see no downside whatsoever to the Cloak of Invisibility. Plus it looks good with everything.

 

Ruby Slippers, The Wizard of Oz

”ruby

(source)

In the film and in the first book of the series, the Ruby Slippers/Silver Shoes had the power to take Dorothy back home to Kansas all along. Just leaving it there that they are magical forms of teleportation is pretty cool, but you have to wonder what else they could do if the Wicked Witch was so hot for them. I don’t care how many season of Sex and the City she watched with her flying monkeys, I bet they can do a whole lot more than the sparkly equivalent of a Greyhound bus.

 

The Mask, The Mask

mask

(source)

When donning the titular mask you literally have godlike powers over your body, your surroundings, death itself and hot salsa beats. All this power comes from the mask being a talisman of the god Loki, which leads me to believe we are all being cheated by not having Tom Hiddleston shake his hips in the Marvel movies. I guess this will have to suffice:

 

tom shake

(source)

Now THAT right there is a magic object.

 

Sorcerer’s Hat, Fantasia

”sorcerers

(source)

When Mickey puts on his master’s hat he only has shirking his chores in mind for what to do with the power he finds. The surge of power is so great that his laziness soon proves disastrous, but you have to wonder what could have been if Mickey had a lot more on his- oh my god that explains Disney’s hold on the world! Quick! Go find Walt’s cryogenically frozen head, I bet there’s a blue starred hat on there pulsating with power!

What do you think is the best magical (NON WEAPON) accessory? Any we missed? Let me know in the comments!

Follow me on Twitter and I wont magically object.

Check out 11 Worst Boyfriends in Movies!

comments