10 Creepy Romantic Relationships in Movies
90% of what I know about love, I know from movies. Movie romances inspire us, make us feel, and break our hearts. But some romances are less heart-warming and more, well, creepy. Some of these movie relationships were meant to be creepy, and some were meant to be romantic and just lost their way. But what they all have in common is they’re kinda gross.
Nicole Kidman plays a 30-something woman who meets a 10-year-old boy who claims to be the reincarnation of her dead husband. At first she’s like “uhh” then she’s like “cool” and she totally gets the hots for this kid and even smooches him ON THE LIPS at one point. He loves her back and they want to get married when he turns 18 but like, girl, he’s ten. Not A ten. Ten years old. HE’S TEN YEARS OLD.
2) Harold and Maude
Harold and Maude is the heartwarming story of a romance between a man in his early 20s (who looks 15) and a 79-year-old woman. Admittedly, falling in love with an almost-octogenarian is the least weird thing Harold does in this movie, but let’s not grade on a curve. This is creepy.
3) Star Wars Episodes I and II – Anakin and Padme
In Episode I, Anakin is a little boy and Padme is a grown woman who watches out for him. In Episode II, Anakin is a grumpy young man, Padme is miraculously the same age, and despite an appalling lack of chemistry, they cannot wait to get it on. Remember, the last time they had a conversation, he was six years old and now all he does is whine about stuff. Anakin also gives her the creep stare, touches her back like a weirdo, and murders children so I guess maybe these pervs are meant for each other.
Bella is a 17-year-old girl. Edward is a 108-year-old man. Does he have the mentality of a 17-year-old? Maybe. Does he have the chiseled body and super-cute face of a 17-year old? For sure. Has he lived through both World Wars, the Great Depression, and the Kennedy assassination? Definitely. He also watches Bella sleep, pops up in her room whenever HE feels like it, and does a bunch of other creepy stuff. The fact that Edward is undead is the least weird thing about this relationship.
Big is an awesome movie where a 12-year-old boy wishes to grow up and awakens the next morning as a full-grown Tom Hanks. He develops a romance with a woman in her 30s who is totally charmed by the fact that he is SO CLEARLY A 12-YEAR OLD BOY inside. When he turns back into a little kid at the end she’s bummed about her (now 13-year-old) boyfriend leaving her but never really seems to take a moment and wonder if she’s a big perv. I feel like at the very least she should talk to a therapist about it.
6) 50 First Dates
At the end of 50 First Dates (spoiler alert) Drew Barrymore has to wake up pregnant every single day, with no memory of the last couple years of her life, and watch an instructional video on how to fall in love with Adam Sandler. Adam Sandler is fine with spending every day convincing someone who does not remember him that she is totes in love with him and wants to have a baby real bad. Pretty creepy. It’s a funny movie though, check it out.
Angelina Jolie is Colin Farrell’s mom but they totes have the hots for each other. Which would make absolute sense, seeing as they are both grade A hotties, except for that whole part where they play MOTHER AND SON.
In the movie Womb, a woman gives birth to her husband’s genetic clone and falls in love with him. Uhhhhhh.
9) American Hustle
This one wasn’t supposed to be creepy, but Jennifer Lawrence is famous for playing a teenager in The Hunger Games, which are still being made right now. Christian Bale, on the other hand, is old. They look gross together, and it bummed me out for the whole movie. American Hustle never even tries to explain how they met each other, which could have only happened when she was a pregnant 14-year-old and he was 40. The ONLY reason to see this movie is that Jennifer Lawrence’s hair looks really good throughout the entire thing.
10) Joe Dirt
Joe Dirt meets a trashy cutie played by Jaime Pressly who he then finds out might be his sister. They are horrified at first, until they find out that they aren’t actually brother and sister after all. But then they realize that their romance was so much steamier when they thought they were related, so they pretend they’re brother and sister because that’s, you know, super hot.
This article was hard to write because there are SO MANY MORE creepy romantic relationships in movies. I didn’t even GET to TV (Jaime/ Cersei anyone?). Are Hollywood screenwriters closeted weirdos? Do you totally ship any of these creepy relationships (it’s okay, I do sometimes). Let me know @erikaheidewald or in the comments!