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10 Fictional Foods I Wanna Eat

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Recently I came across a news item that not only peaked my interest…it made my mouth water! Cheesy Poofs will soon be available for the world to eat! A Cheeto-like snack with South Park pedigree? What could be better? Well, naturally I thought of a few things! Here's my list of 10 more fictional foods that they need to make available for our eating pleasure.


Salty Chocolate Balls



I'm a huge proponent of the salty/sweet combo. And I also love eating things that are in the form of a convenient mouth-sized ball shape…that sounded really wrong, didn't it?


Three Course Dinner Gum


Of all the things Willy Wonka produced…this is the one I want the most.  I'd even still try it if they haven't worked out all the bugs yet, and consuming it will make me blow up into a giant blueberry. I have a few people bugging the hell out of me and I'd love to go Kirby on their a**ses!


Super Mario Mushrooms


Not only do they probably taste delicious sliced up on a pizza or in a savory risotto, but they will make you power-up and increase your size. The only downside will be the Mario mushroom penis-enlargement e-mails that will no doubt be cluttering our inboxes.


Krabby Patty


I love burgers and I love secret sauce. Plus SpongeBob seems like he has impeccable taste…except for the whole squarepants thing. I wouldn't be caught dead in those.




What can I say? Fried corn mush sounds delicious to me. And it sounds even more delicious knowing I might maim myself creating it. 





Berries are good and these are like smurf crack…so they must be REALLY good. The best part is when I get sick of eating them, I can just sell them to dumb kids obsessed with the 'Smurfs' Village' game app and make a boatload of cash.


Powdered Toast


I'm a huge fan of 'futuristic' foods…Dippin' Dots, astronaut ice cream, boba balls…so the idea of powdered toast sounds intriguing. Even if it does get it's delicious flavor from Powdered Toast Man's Farts. Hey, I'm a Slim Jim eater, which I'm pretty sure contains butt-related meat. So apparently…I'm down with that kind of thing.


Scooby Snacks


I mean, these must be super-delicious, right? Why else would Shaggy be clamouring to pound a box of dog treats? It's not like there's something you can consume first that'll make you have an uncontrollable urge to eat whatever you can get your hands on, even if it's doggie kibble, right? Now I have the munchies.


Elven Lembas Bread


Do I go on long journies that require a food product that can keep for months? No. But lembas bread is tastier than both cram and honey-cakes and it's from Lord of the Rings. So if i choose not to eat it at the very least I could get an uber-nerd bidding war going if i decide to list it on Ebay. Mint, still in it's original leaf wrapping!




This is described on the Simpson's Wiki as a tub of the white, creamy filling that Oreo's are stuffed with. Need I say more? Okay…what about how delicious it would taste spread on a Chippo?

Now we're talking! Get on it, Kraft!


So…What did I forget? What are some fictional foods you're dying to try? What Harry Potter foods did I leave off that are making you angry? Let me know in the comments!

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