10 Least Viewed YouTube Videos Of The Year
The beauty of YouTube is that anyone can be a movie maker; the curse is that anyone can be a movie maker. The chances of these super unpopular clips turning into the new Gangnam Style are slim to none – after all, they’re unpopular for a reason.
“ford focus”, 10 Views
Two minutes and 22 seconds of a guy showing off the engine of his Ford Focus, with a constant, unsettling buzzing sound in the background. The car honks and revs at one point – when the dude gets around to shooting the car’s interior, though, there's no one sitting in the driver's seat. The only logical explanation for this is that the Ford Focus is possessed by the spirit of the dark lord. It looks sweet doin’ it, though. Totally cherry. Takeaway Quote: "Bzzz."
“Online Aristocrat Pokies Slot Big Red Game; Emulator Free Play”, 36 Views
One minute, 33 seconds of some broad playing an Australian-themed video poker game. With each mindless spin of the wheel, you hear the inane droning of a didgeridoo and see rapidly moving, pixelated images of dingos and crocodiles. According to the poor soul who uploaded this video, “I play this game a lot but it never seems to pay very much.” Which adds further insult to injury. Takeaway Quote: ”Whooooaaaooooo” – Didgeridoo
“Iams Consumer Video Review: I show how much my dogs LOVE…”, 25 Views
Two minutes, 22 seconds of a frazzled looking middle-aged woman reviewing wet dog food. Upon introducing the product, she declares, “I give it five stars…let’s see what they give it.” WHICH IS WHERE THE DOGS COME IN. She doles out a portion for all, but things get crazy when Duke starts eating more than his share… “Duke! Let Bear have some!” Takeaway Quote: "This looks good…it looks good enough for humans to eat!"
“message for the haters!”, 12 Views
Three minutes, 26 seconds of a petulant teenage girl acting irrationally upset because eight people “and counting” have thumbs-downed her latest video. Arms crossed, she doles out some sage advice to her countless haters: “Grow up and get a pair, because no one gives a crap if you’re gonna dislike videos, or you’re gonna hate on people.” Takeaway Quote: "It’s the internet…no one cares."
“my favorite book in the world!!!!!”, 7 Views
Four minutes, 12 seconds of a sixth grader rambling, the first minute spent explaining that she has other videos you should “go watch now.” While the title of the video is singular, not plural, said sixth grader actually has multiple favorite books, which she describes in inarticulate detail. Takeaway Quote: "I’m just gonna show you the back of the book so you can pause it and read it, ‘cause I don’t really have a lot of time to read all the backs."
“What I got for 2012 Christmas. (if ur a belieber, watch.) ;)”, 10 Views
Eight minutes, 24 seconds of YouTube user BieberForPayton showing the world how much she loves her Christmas gifts….wanna know why she loves said gifts? ‘Cause OMG THE MAJORITY OF THEM ARE JUSTIN BIEBER RELATED!!!!!! In this clip, she silently shows off her swag whilst the Biebster caterwauls on (and on, and on) in the background. Takeaway Quote: ”Chillin' by the fire while we eatin' fondue…I dunno about me but I know about you…”
“Captain blue beard”, 21 Views
A brisk 21 seconds of indescribably bizarre video that will shake you to the core of your being. This is some primo David Lynch-ian stuff, ladies and germs. Words cannot describe it. Takeaway Quote: "Hi, everybody. I’m Flo."
“Pituxa 7.4.12 at 11 a.m.”, 3 Views
One minute, 24 seconds of a woman incessantly asking an uninterested cat whether or not it’s “OK.” She feeds it a dish of what appears to be gravy, silently watches it slurp for about 30 seconds, and then declares that the cat “sounds congested.” Takeaway Quote: "Are you OK?"
“pokemon white 2 random matchup #1”, 5 Views
Three minutes, three seconds of what the description claims is YouTube user bakufun1’s “first ever random matchup. he had 368 wins and zangoose never got touched once.” Ahem. Ever wished you could watch a random stranger play a particularly tedious game of Pokemon on a Game Boy Advance? If so, today’s your lucky day! Takeaway Quote: "Slam." – A door in the background
“cooking supper 001.MOV”, 9 Views
One minute, 44 seconds of a nondescript white guy uh, cooking supper. What’s he makin’? Great question – glad you asked. Well, he’s makin’ salad, fried yellow squash, ham, and cornbread. “Yup…that’s what we’re havin’.” Takeaway Quote: "Are you cooking supper?" “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”
How many hits do your videos have, wise guy? Let me know in the comments!