10 People You Don’t Want To Party With On New Year’s Eve
It’s almost time for a New Year. You did a great job avoiding all of your family members you didn’t want to see over the holidays. You’re in the home stretch and there’s still a few more people you need to avoid to make this holiday season perfect. New Year’s Eve parties are a great place to mingle with lots of people you don’t usually see. For the most part, everyone is great. There are some people that you should avoid at all costs. Here are people you don’t want to party with on New Year’s Eve.
The Amateur Drunk
New Year’s Eve is a night when people who don’t usually drink try to down an entire bottle of vodka. This person is going to be puking by 10:30.
Your Middle School Friend Who Knows All Your Secrets
It’s great to randomly run in to old friends on NYE. It’s not that great when they start telling all of your new friends about how much of a dweeb you used to be. Now everyone knows about “The Donkey Incident.” Your new friends will never treat you the same again.
The Dude Who Brought His Saxophone
Singing Auld Lang Syne at midnight is a tradition I can get behind. What I can’t get behind is some drunk dude with a saxophone totally butchering the song. You haven’t picked up your sax in 10 years. Now isn’t the time to give it another go.
Your Evil Clone
Your evil clone is always trying to find opportunities to replace you and New Year’s Eve is no different. Be careful around mirrors! You may think you’re looking in a mirror, but it’s actually a window with your evil clone looking right back at you.
New Year’s Eve is a time to look forward to what the future might bring. It’s not about complaining about how much the last year sucked. I’m sorry your girlfriend dumped you, but maybe if you weren’t moping so much then you might be able to meet someone new at this party.
You may think that you guys broke up on good terms and everything is fine. That all changes when you start seeing them make out with someone right in front of you. Exes are to be avoided all all costs on NYE because you’re probably going to freak out and make yourself look like a jealous crazy person.
This person tries to kiss as many people as they can on NYE. They kissed 43 people last year and this year they’re determined to break their record. Make sure you avoid this person unless you want to share mouth herpes with 50 other people at the party.
This one is pretty obvious. If your parents are around, you’re not going to have any fun. That is unless you have super fun parents. I don’t. 🙁
The Resolution Maker
This person will talk your ear off about all of the great things they’re going to do in the new year. The truth is that they’re not going to change anything. They might try excercise and healthy eating for a little while, but that’s going to quickly turn in to playing GTA and eating Doritos like they did all last year.
Boxman would be great to have at party. Boxman 2.0 is a total d-bag. He’s going to slam doors in everyone’s faces, smash all your tables, and kick everyone in the weiner. That’s no way to ring in the new year. You need to light him on fire.
What are your New Year’s Eve plans? Let me know on twitter @zachlunch or in the comments below!