Funny Articles

10 Things Charles Manson Should Not Have In His Jail Cell

By  | 

The dasterdly cult leader Charles Manson was caught with a cell phone in his jail cell recently. Manson was caught with the stylish LG flip phone under his mattress and had been using it before officers discovered it. I can understand the confusion… I mean it IS called a "cell phone" so he naturally thought it was to be used in his cell.

This is super-scary, since Manson is in prison because he talked people into murder. That was his thing. Prison officials added 30 days to Manson's sentence when they discoveed the cell phone. No! Not 30 whole days!

In 2009 prison officials discovered nearly 7,000 illegal cellphones in California state prisons. For 2010 they're over 8,000.

Nobody knows if he used the phone to give out evil commands to followers… like murder! But as they searched his jail cell they found several other very disturbing devices.


Video Barbie

Manson loves his video Barbie and uses it to update his Vlog giving out evil commands to his followers.


Slap Chop

When you're done with a long day of planning murders there's nothing like a fresh delicious salad made with the ultra durable Slap Chop! It's also good for chopping up humans!


Picture of iCarly

You know he wants to get down with iCarly! Squeaky iCarly indeed!


Sham Wow

With the ShamWOW you can make your jail cell shine like the top of the Chrysler Building!



Excess body hair is a problem everywhere… even in the pen!



How do you think Manson keeps those girlish locks trimmed?


Pajama Jeans

Nothing like waking up in your pajama jeans… so comfortable! You can go from the cell to the yard and never have to even change clothes!


Shake Weight

Gotta stay fit no matter where you are… even in prison! The other inmates love watching Charles work out with his Shake Weight for men!



This is how Manson keeps his evil claws nice and trim.


Four Loko

Four Loko… more like Five Loko!

What else do you think Charles Manson might have been caught with in his jail cell? Tell me in the comments below!


Check Out 8 Dolls That Will Kill You!