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10 Ways To Piss Off A Demon

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Exorcism, schmecsorism…if you REALLY want to make a demon angry, try some of these dumb*ss moves. Demonic possession is no fun for anyone.


10. “Forget” to invite him to your birthday party

If your mom makes you invite everyone in your class, do NOT exclude your demon classmate. When he finds out—and he will!—there’s gonna to be hell to pay…


9. Bogart the remote

Don’t make him watch The Nanny, either. Or any of the Twilight movies. Not only will he retaliate by enveloping you in eternal fiery flames, but he might make you watch 10 hours of golf.


8. Refuse to buy him beer

Demons don’t usually have ID, so do a brother a favor and help him out. Karma, you know.


7. Kill his 30th level epic prestige cleric/mage with a vorpal bunny

It’s bad enough when your opponent hacks your head of with a vorpal sword…getting killed by a vorpal bunny is just plain embarrassing. Yeah, they’re not even allowed in D&D, but some DMs can be real d*cks.


6. Make fun of his mom when you’re chatting via Ouija board

Anyone who’s watched “Paranormal Activity” knows the best way to open the door for demonic possession is to bring a Ouija board into the condo. Don’t make things worse by insulting his mom.


5. Park like a douche

Only a total a-hole parks two inches away from someone else’s vehicle. Although he might only leave a nasty note on your car, there’s a good chance the demon will explode it with his death-ray eyes.


4. Steal his new Air Jordans

Sneaks are expensive, and it’s hard to find a paying job as an evil lord of the night (no proof of citizenship). Besides, bullying is just not right, especially if the object of your meanness can flay you alive.


3. Tag his turf

Tagging is always a crime, but it can be deadly if you do it in a demon’s territory—and do you really want to join his gang? The initiation is a bitch…


2. Steal the rare mob he’s been camping for three days

Probably the most evil move you can pull in WOW, this bit of douchebaggery is going to earn you some painful retribution. Don’t piss him off, or he might have his gold farmers hack your account and steal your gear.


1. Strap him to a chair and make him watch The Annoying Orange

Do you have any more really bad ideas for pissing off demons? Tell us in the comments!


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