10 Ways To Piss Off Your Mom
Why would you want to piss off your mom? I don't know… cus it's funny sometimes to watch her face get all red.
Here are 10 guaranteed ways to piss off your mom.
Start Leaving The Toilet Seat Up
Especially if you're a girl. Then you get a two for one. You get to piss off your mom AND she'll blame your brother so you can watch him squirm.
Do The Laundry
The trick is to do it all wrong. Overfill the washer, use too much soap, stuff them into the dryer… When your mom sees what you're doing to her washer and dryer she'll freak the freak out. BONUS: She will never let you do laundry again.
Pretend The Car Broke Down
This is hilarious. Call your mom and tell her the car broke down and you need her to come pick you up. When she gets there turn the key and start the car… "Woah, it's working now. Thanks anyway mom!" And drive off. Good times.
Knock On The Door
When your mom closes the door, the bathroom door, the bedroom door, especially when you can tell she wants some privacy… start knocking and make it sound urgent. "Can I have $20 to go to Starbucks." "I need a ride to the mall." "I can't find the remote control!" Your mom will lose her junk if you keep doing this.
Bring Weird Friends Home For Dinner Unanounced
"Hey mom, this is my friend Charlie. I met him at the grocery store. He's starving so I brought him home for dinner. I hope that's cool. What's cookin?"
Lie about everything. It could be a big or a small thing but just start lying… in obvious ways that she will figure out. Say you're at work when your hanging out with your friends. Few things piss a mom off more than lying.
Can I Have It?
Wherever you go, ask for stuff. The mall, the grocery store, the pharmacy. Ask for anything and everything remotely stupid as if it's the coolest thing in the world and you really want it. Mom's hate having to say "no" over and over again. She'll be furious.
Point Out When She's Wrong
Point out to your mom each and every time she is wrong. She will have a complete melt down.
Don't Answer Her Calls
When your mom calls, let it go to voice mail… don't respond. When she asks you why you didn't respond to her call just say, "Oh that's so weird, my phone didn't show any calls."
Bring Home A New Puppy Without Permission
"Isn't he cute? They were giving them away free in front of the grocery store. I named him Pumpkin. Look, he loves you!" – your mom will be friggin' pissed cuz everyone knows that she'll be the one actually taking care of this puppy. She'll be picking up dog poop for YEARS.