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10 Weird and Awesome Toys You Can Get at Daiso, the Japanese Dollar Store

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Daiso is a magical little Japanese dollar store. Some items it sells are practical things you didn’t even know you needed, and others are… well, a little bit more eccentric. This list is more that second category, because of course it is. Here are 10 weird and/or awesome toys you can get at Daiso.

Instant Boobs

daiso things boobs

I’m not being glib, “Instant Boobs” is literally what it says on the box. Pop these bad boys on your chest, give ‘em a squeeze, and watch them burst to life. I just hope anything makes me as happy as having boobs makes the kid on this box.

Instant… uh…

daiso things instant

Technically, it’s an “Inflatable Wild Swan”, and it works on the same concept as the Instant Boobs. Attach it to your netherregion with the adhesive backing, give it a squeeze to break the packet inside and VOILA, instant creep.

Boxing Kangaroo Pen

daiso things kangaroo

Okay, I’ve been to Australia, like, once, and this is a terrible stereotype that should NOT be perpetuated. Not all kangaroos box, okay? And if they did, they’d be more methodical than this thing. I mean, this stupid pen is a terrible boxer.

USA Pinwheel Headband

daiso things headband

Nothing is more patriotic than pinwheels sticking out of your head designed to look like your home country’s flag, right?

Banana Holder

daiso things banana

Again, not a euphemism, just a carrying case. For a single banana. I mean… it’s practical, if nothing else, right? No more bruised bananas?

Man in a Tank

daiso things tank

You know, the guy vaguely resembles a monochromatic Optimus Prime, but, uh, there isn’t a whole lot of transforming going on here. He’s literally just trapped in that tank. What a bleak existence.

Edible Stumps

daiso things stumps

There’s lots of rad candy at Daiso, but, uh, I don’t want to eat wooden stumps. I get that brown chocolate is a reasonable facsimile for brown wood, I guess, but for the last time, Daiso, I’m NOT a beaver. Stop trying to put me in that box.

Frog Mitt

daiso things frog

Poor Kermit, left to bite down on your red-hot cookie sheet. Even his eyes make it look like he’s in agony!

Knuckle-Mounted Water Gun

daiso things gun

I know you’ve been dying to do your harmless cosplay of Doomfist, and now you can! Shoot water from your knuckles like those weird, Benadryl-induced dreams you used to have.

Jumbo Trump

daiso things trump

I know that “trump” is a term in the card game world, but in 2017, JUMBO TRUMP in giant block letters just takes on a whole new context. It’s almost like the cards are trying to compensate for something.

Are you on your way to Daiso right now? Let me know on Twitter!