Funny Articles

10 Words That Make You Sound Smarter Than You Really Are

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Wouldn’t it be great if you could think like a Shakespearean play? Great for your literary career, not-so-great for people who actually have to talk to you. Well, here are some words that will make you sound like a Harvard graduate in no time, and not too Shakespearey.


1. Sought

Meaning: the past tense of seek. For example, instead of “I was looking for my Pokemon boxers,” say, “I sought my Pokemon boxers.” Much more sophisticated.


2. Hence

Meaning: as a consequence. Instead of saying, “Charlie Sheen is an insane person, that’s like why he’s been on TV and stuff,” say, “Charlie sheen is an insane person, hence his surge in publicity.”


3. Platonic

Meaning: most commonly used in the phrase “Platonic relationship,” one of love but that isn’t sexual. Instead of saying, “Our bromance is like no other,” say, “Our Platonic relationship is like no other.”


4. Tenuous

Meaning: weak, fragile. Next time you’re beating someone up, don’t say, “Gah! You weak little piece of s***!” Say, “Gah! You tenuous morsel!”


5. Intoxicated

Meaning: to be drugged. Never say “high” or “baked” ever again! Instead of saying, “Man, did you see how f***ing stoned that dude was in the bowling alley parking lot?” Say, “Man, did you see that intoxicated man in the bowling alley parking lot?”


6. Inquire

Meaning: to ask. Instead of saying, “Yo, I asked him about the stuff,” say, “I have inquired about the stuff already.” Much less suspicious, much more sophisticated.


7. Adjacent

Meaning: directly next to. Instead of saying, “Did you see that movie ‘Human Centipede’? I heard that some people got sewed together or something,” you can say, “I heard that a few people were made permanently adjacent to one another.”


8. Fancy

Meaning: to want or to find attractive [warning: you will sound very British]. Instead of saying, “I want a Coke really bad,” say, “I currently fancy a Coke.”


9. Divert

Meaning: to cause something to change its direction. For example, instead of saying, “The rapist in Lincoln Park came, but I sent him out of the house,” say, “I diverted him away from the house,” or “Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your kids, hide your wife.”


10. Any Word (said with a British accent)

Their voices are very persuasive. Now fool all your friends, and make them think you’re smart!

What other words have helped sound smart? Tell us in the comments below!