Funny Articles

12 of the Most Bizarre Pieces of Hello Kitty Merch Ever Made

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It’s pretty easy to go overboard when it comes to branding. Sometimes companies stick their image all over everything, even if it doesn’t make sense. It’s like a dog marking it’s territory. It’s safe to say that the worst offender is Hello Kitty, who’s likeness graces more than just lunch boxes and Trapper Keepers. Maybe the good folks at Sanrio should have taken a step back and said, “Hey, do we really need to stick Hello Kitty all over this sh*t?”

Hello Kitty Maternity Ward

hello kitty maternity ward

What? Like you’re going to have your baby in a Chococat-themed maternity ward? No, Girl!

Hello Kitty Hand Gun

hello kitty hand gun

If you have the right to bear arms, you have the right to make said arms pink and covered in rhinestones.

Hello Kitty Motor Oil

hello motor oil

Think cars are only for boys? Think again! Now getting an oil change is girl-friendly!

Hello Kitty Contact Lenses

hello kitty contact lenses

Just in case you ever want to look like you’re under demonic possession, but a demonic possession from Hello Kitty.

Hello Kitty Beer

hello kitty beer

You’ve never been to a kegger until you’ve been to a Hello Kitty kegger. Things get cray.

Hello Kitty Smart Car

hello kitty smart car

The Hello Kitty smart car goes up to the line between being “cute” and being extra. Then it crosses that line and never looks back.

Hello Kitty Chainsaw

hello kitty chainsaw

Nobody’s going to take your homicidal rampage seriously if you slaughter your victims using a pink chainsaw. But your victims will recognize how fashionable you are, so… trade off?

Hello Kitty Grave

hello kitty grave

R.I.P. (The “p” stands for “pink”).

Hello Kitty Tampons

hello kitty tampons

These tampons are so fun, you’ll almost want to get your period, cramps and all!

Hello Kitty Pills

hello kitty pills

Prescription Hello Kitty drug abuse is a problem. They’re candy, so it’s fine, but it’s still a problem.

Hello Kitty Darth Vader

hello kitty darth vader

The major problem with Star Wars is that it wasn’t pink enough. Problem solved.

Hello Kitty Pet Coffin

hello kitty pet coffin

Is this morbid? Only if you don’t actually have a pet.

Do you know what they where thinking when they made any of these Hello Kitty products? Let us know on Twitter!