12 Summer Fashion DON’TS
I think we can all agree that summer fashion faux pas are the worst of all the seasons. Not only do summer sartorial mishaps expose their perpetrators' utter lack of panache, but they often expose their naughty bits as well. You don't have to be Rachel Zoe to know that the following 12 summer fashion don'ts are bananas in all the wrong ways!
Wearing Your Underwear As Outerwear
Oh Grandpa…I know it gets really hot in the summer, but saggy, antique Fruit of the Loom underwear are never acceptable streetwear. Or travelwear for that matter! Where the heck is he going dressed like that? I have a feeling this guy always requests the TSA pat down.
Platform Beach Shoes
These are not appropriate sand shoes. Maybe quicksand shoes? I guess they'll give you a few more moments of life. But I don't really think safety's on her mind. She's obviously a huge fan of all things plastic.
Club Wear At The Shore
I can only assume these fine folks did the walk of shame straight to the beach, still decked out in last night's leather and fishnet. I'm hoping the guy with the cuffs is the fashion police and he's about to throw the book at these criminal offenders. At the very least he needs to throw a tarp at them.
Can we just ban all jean cut-offs? I know some girls can really pull them off and then there's those hot car wash fantasies…but most jorts are worn by guys like this. And he was the most decent example I could find! Trust me when I say–NEVER do a Google image search for 'old guy in jean shorts.' You will see things you can never unsee.
Matching Your Leather Purse To Your Leather Skin
When you can't tell where your shoulder ends and your cheap copper leather bag begins, you are too tan. If only Blonde Snookie and Casper the Guido Ghost blended, they would have the perfect summer complexion.
Country Creeper Wear
Last I checked soiled dungarees hanging by one threadbare suspender does not qualify as swimwear. And it only gets more hardcore creeper/thrill killer when you carry your beach 'things' in a garbage bag. The ladies on the other hand are looking good! Keep on trucking gals!
Only two types of people wear thongs, really hot and really not hot. I mean this guy leaves me the bad kind of breathless. The clip-on cell phone. The frizzy hair. The white thong seductively peeking out. Shudder. Everything I wrote about Dasiy Dukes applies to thongs as well.
The GTL Look
I get it…you like being tan, you work out and you wanna show off the wares. Just go shirtless. Cause the situation is that you look like a d-bag with that 'shirt' on. I do however approve of your laundry habit.
There's just something really, really wrong about pairing hawaiian shorts with a cable-knit sweater. And argyle socks. This photo is just waiting to be forever aloned.
Socks With Sandals
It says a lot about how much I hate socks and sandals that at first glance I didn't even notice the ill-fitting shorts and the moobs.
I don't know what's sadder…thinking this nice lady is so clueless that she wore her one-piece bathing suit backwards or thinking that she is so trampy that she intentionally wore it backwards to make it more sexy. Either way she doesn't seem to think there's a problem with her titties busting out and making their own splash. The parents of those two children, however probably have a very big problem with it.
I like to make-believe that the wolf is actually still alive and he's about to maul these firetruckin' fools. Fur is never acceptable…even in the winter! Unless that's Jacob Black's hide…then I'll give him a pass.
So what do you think? Which summer fashion DON'Ts do you hate the most? Let us know in the comments!