2012 Movies That Would Be Better With Harry Potter Characters
2012 is shaping up to be an interesting year as far as movies go. The only thing missing is a Harry Potter movie. And that's like not right. It's the movie I've looked forward to the most every year for the past 10 years. I know, I know, I get it! There's no more Harry Potter movies! But that doesn't mean the characters can't make comebacks. They would definitely help some of the suck-ass movies better and the sure to be awesome movies even more awesomer! FOR REAL!
Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2
Twilight not only wussified vampires it also made werewolves about as fierce as a Three Wolf Moon t-shirt. They need a pack leader like Remus Lupin! Not only will he show them how you defeat a group of fey pansy-a** death eaters (I mean vamps are kind of eaters of death right? Am I stretching?) but you know he would kick the sh*t out of Jacob for acting like a DAWG around Bella's baby.
The Three Stooges
If there's anyone who's used to being surrounded by bumbling idiots…it's Voldemort. I'm looking at you Peter Pettigrew! And the best part is…Voldemort will Aveda Kedavra the f*ck out of this movie within the first minute. And that's really about all I can take of this cinematic turd anyways.
Rock Of Ages
I do not believe Tom Cruise as a rock star…mmmmkay Hollywood?? You know what I would believe? Seeing the rock star emerge from down deep inside of everyone's favorite curmudgeonly Professor of the Dark Arts. Snape is friggin hot, y'all. I would totally let him autograph my boobies…JK!!! Or am I?
The Hunger Games
There needs to be someone who is a worthy adversary to President Snow! And Dumbledore takes on Voldemort, yo! And Voldemort is like the baddest bad guy in the history of ever! President Snow is no Voldemort. He isn't even a Lucius Malfoy. Plus Dumbledore is a world-class mentor.
I mean don't get me wrong, I love me some Haymitch….but he can be slightly unreliable. And hello? It's friggin' Dumbledore!
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Dobby will fit right into the Hobbit! He would give anything to help Bilbo Baggins throughout his journey. OMG! He could be Golum's good twin! That would be totally believable! They both are obsessed with their masters and love to talk about themselves in the third person….and they kind of look alike. But strangely I find Dobby, well for lack of a better word, precious!
The Dark Knight Rises
We all know Neville got super slick…right? He'd be a perfect addition to the movie as Batman's sidekick Robin. BONUS: he has experience dealing with devious cats. Anne Hathaway ain't got nothing on Crookshanks!
Of the main three Harry Potter characters, Ron definitely seems like he derped the hardest through puberty.So he would fit in perfectly with this motley group of awkward sexual misfits. I'll just have to close my eyes when he sticks it to a cauldron cake. Ugh. Where's an Obliviate spell when you need one!
Snow White And The Huntsman
Do you honestly expect me to believe a character played by Kristen Stewart can do anything but stare blankly into the face of danger? Hermione could take care of that evil queen with a single transfiguration spell. Turn that bitch into hog or something. Maybe we can throw Stewart into The Hunger Games? See how she fares there? He he.
What movies would you like to see a Harry Potter character pop up in? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!