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4 Reasons Why ‘The Witcher’ Could ONLY Be Adapted by Netflix

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Netflix announced today that the first video game franchise it will adapt for the small screen (monitor?) will not be Zelda but instead The Witcher, the open world RPG series from developer CD Projekt RED. And thank god. Netflix is the only place for an adaptation of the Witcher. Here’s why.

1. The world of The Witcher 3 is STUPID big

netflix witcher map(source)

There’s no way any single movie, or even a series of movies, could cram in all the good stuff that’s in The Witcher. It needs at least two seasons of TV, 20 hours total, if they’re going to tell this story. We saw how disastrously an open world game adaptation could go with the Assassin’s Creed movie, and they had significantly fewer sorceresses to deal with.

2. Netflix has the dour color palette of modern video games DOWN

netflix witcher palette(source)

Netflix’s Marvel shows are so grim and uninteresting to look at color-wise, but when it comes to the video games of today, that’s a feature and not a bug. Triple A video games are generally set in worlds filled with depressing browns and greys. This is how you know the world is to be taken seriously, like for real. No bright or neon colors — those are for baby games made for babies.

3. Netflix will be good to The Witcher because it wants a high-stakes fantasy epic so bad
netflix witcher want(source)

Some TV networks take a chance on a weird show like Arrested Development or Hannibal, but don’t really stick by them, scheduling them erratically or dumping them on Friday nights. But Game of Thrones is the biggest show on TV, so you know Netflix wants a high-stakes magic and fantasy show of its own. That means Netflix will do right by The Witcher, like a couple adopting a child because they want one so bad, as opposed to a couple who didn’t know they were pregnant and are only raising the kid because they don’t know if they can really leave a baby at the fire station or if that’s just an urban legend.

4. Binging is a huge part of The Witcher
netflix witcher binge(source)

The Witcher 3 takes about 100 hours to beat. If any other network did a Witcher series and released one episode a week, it would rob us of the ability to dump big chunks of time into this world. And that’s kind of the point</i of The Witcher — we can use it to avoid our real lives. I know I personally picked up The Witcher 3 during my mom’s surgery, and it’s been so engrossing I haven’t even checked in yet to check and see if she survived.


Follow Mikey on Twitter @mikeymccollor.