Funny Articles

5 Everyday Moments That Still Scare the Crap Out of Us

By  | 

If my life was a movie, it would probably be the most boring horror film you’ve ever seen. As a self-professed walking ball of anxiety, it’s truly the little things that scare me. A poster fell off my wall in the middle of the night yesterday and I legitimately cried for 30 minutes. But there are little things in life that scare the crap out of us all. Here are just a few.

5. Having to Exist in the Dark

So you’re at home alone, tucked into your cozy bed, ready for a good night’s sleep. But suddenly you hear rustling in the distance. It could be the wind, brushing a tree branch up against your window. Or it could be an axe murderer! Little things that go bump in the night always make you think the worst, and definitely leave you too paranoid to even move after hearing them. Did I leave the bathroom light on? Too bad, my light bill will just have to suffer. In fact, let the axe murderer pay it!

4. Dropping Your Phone

We all like to make it seem like modern technology isn’t our lifeblood, especially millennials — I’ve ironically seen many twitter threads that try to make this point. However, when your phone slips out of your hands and goes barreling towards the ground, most people would drop their newborn to make sure their screen doesn’t break. You can’t blame them though! An iPhone is like one billion dollars, and replacing a cracked screen after it hits pavement is at least one million. Plus, how are you gonna scroll through Instagram to avoid social situations if your screen doesn’t work?

3. iPhone Alerts

While we’re on the topic of phones, getting an Amber Alert on your iPhone is terrifying. First, because you’re always doing something very average like eating cereal for dinner while watching The Bachelor when you’re forced to think about a four year-old in a gold Honda who’s missing. It really kills the mood. (And yes, I know realize that the kid’s situation may be a little worse than mine, but please just don’t judge me.) But the scary part is the actual alarm that the iPhone uses for its alerts. It sounds like a nuclear missile is heading your way. Imagine if I was vacationing in Hawaii this week, I would have died of sheer irony.

2. Getting a Call from an Unknown Number

Does this mean I have weird phone issues? I don’t know. But let’s talk about the anxiety that swirls when you get a call from an unknown or unrecognizable number. It could be a bill collector, it could be an update on that job you were waiting hear back from, or it could be that axe murderer! This usually leads to you just staring at the phone, wondering, and waiting for it to stop. Then you check the voicemail, and realize it’s just your mom who’s waiting for you to pick her up from the airport — she borrowed a random person’s phone because hers died while she was waiting for you. Sorry mom! (Shout out to anyone that recognized this callback from my last article. You’re the real MVP.)

1. Checking Your Bank Account

This last one goes out to all of my financially unstable homies, and anyone who’s ever spent half their paycheck on liquid lip gloss. Just me? Okay. Well, after binge spending, you’re often not sure what’s left in your checking account. And since you refused to get your card declined at McDonald’s again, you check online. Your heart’s beating fast as you type in your password and wait for it to load on your phone — those 10 second feel like 10 years. Until finally it’s there and you see… you’re still broke. What did you really expect?

Have any other every day horrors? Let us know on Twitter @Smosh!