The 5 Hottest Women (Let Down By John Mayer)
Kim Kardashian isn't known for her brains and good sense, so it's not the least bit shocking to hear that she's been spotted around New York with America's worst boyfriend ever: John Mayer.
Hold the phone! I wonder how Kim's ex Justin Bieber feels about this? He really dodged a bullet with that one.
I mean I think we all know at this point that you don't date John Mayer. Besides Kim (who will be let down soon enough), here a few other hotties that he's disappointed .
John's ex Jennifer Aniston could give Kim some advice. She had the misfortune of dating Mayer back in the day. In return for years of love, affection, loyalty, and companionship… John rewarded her by publically telling Playboy Magazine in a cover page interview that he still hadn't gotten over the break up, followed by "(our relationship) doesn't arc over the horizon. This is not where I see myself for the rest of my life. This is not my ideal destiny.' " Yes John, Jen is not your destiny, but a lifetime of douchbagery is.
Jessica Simpson must have broken a mirror or crossed paths with a black cat because she has also reaped the rewards of dating Mayer back in 2006. In that same magazine interview he revealed intimate sexual details of their affair… "That girl, for me, is a drug. And drugs aren't good for you if you do lots of them. Yeah, that girl is like crack cocaine to me… Sexually it was crazy. That's all I'll say. It was like napalm, sexual napalm…" How poetic. If he's REALLY felling a burning sensation, he should see a doctor.
Now we are finding out that John once had a secret affair with pop star Taylor Swift despite a 13 year age difference. In her new album she's got a song called "Dear John" where she goes into the details of their affair followed by the advice, "run as fast as you can." She confesses in the song that Mayer broke her heart. You are almost a kid, Taylor. What did he do, tell you there was no Santa Claus? Although it could have been worse… I mean, at least Mayer didn't do a comedy routine about your relationship at some club in Hollywood.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
At this point nobody even remembers that John dated Jennifer Love-Hewitt back in 2002 and then DID do a comedy routine about it. John performed a raunchy set of stand-up comedy at the Laugh Factory in Hollywood where he revealed the sexual details of his affair with Jennifer. He later apologized to Hewitt. Didn't anyone ever tell him not to "kiss and tell?"
And that my friends is why friends don't let friends date Mayer.
Girls, would YOU date John Mayer? When Kim dumps him, who do you think he should disappoint next?