Funny Articles

5 Insults I’d Like to See Catch On

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As a creative “type”, I really wish we had more variety in the way that we insult each other. Sure, sometimes people have fun with it, but usually it’s just “you suck” or a boring stream of curse words or something. Let’s bring some new insults into the equation! Insults… like these! (NOTE: since none of these insults are in the common parlance, there are no gifs where they’re being used to make someone feel bad. Imagine how much more potent these gifs would be if they had these newer, better insults, ammiright?)

Prole

I think we in America should finally, truly embrace our class divisions. This way, rich people can refer to the working class as “proles”, and proles can slowly over time take pride in it until they one day brutally overthrow their soft, useless rich masters.

Jyub

A “jyub” is like a subgenre of slob. I saw a college newspaper use it to describe freshmen who wander around all day in sweat suits, with a glazed look in their eyes, having given up on personal hygiene in a desperate bid to not fall behind on their school work.

Get Thee To A Nunnery

This is essentially slut shaming — you’re telling someone to clean their life up. Slut shaming is bad, yes, but if you’re going to do it, you might as well go Elizabethan.

Boob

Yes, I understand that the human body deserves to be celebrated and appreciated in all its forms, but also, boobs are funny. And we should be calling people “boobs” if they’re acting like a numbskull, because if a boob somehow became sentient, you know it would be wandering around going “duuuuuuuh”.

Chazzwazzers

From The Simpsons; mocking an Australian person for their crazy names and giant upsetting flora and fauna. Seriously, that continent is Jumanji (I stole that joke from my girlfriend.)

Feel free to scream one of these at me from a moving car window sometime. Or insult me on Twitter @Smosh!

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