Funny Articles

5 Of The Raddest Animals Native To Japan

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When most people think of Japan they think of three things: ninjas, hot school girls, and godzilla. But did you know that Japan is host to a variety of species of animals, besides Godzilla? It's true. While Godzilla is the biggest animal in Japan, he is by no means the only animal. So take my hand and come on a tour of Japan's bio diversity with me, which will now probably be even greater once all the nuclear fallout from the recent disaster gives all the current animals super powers.


Japanese Macaque or "Snow Monkey"


This primate is known for being the northernmost living primate in the world (besides man). They are the only primates known to chill in snow like it ain't no thang. They are also the only primate besides man known to brag about owning a hot tub in order to seduce a partner.




Japan is native to the animal that surely inspired Pikachu. It looks like a mouse, or more specifically it looks like a teenager girl drew the cutest mouse she could and then prayed to god to make it real and he did. It is, however, a type of lagomorph, so it is much more closely related to the rabbit. The Japanese pika is most often found in mountainous regions, or poking it's head out of a teacup waiting for someone to put a tiny hat on it.


The World's Largest Hornet


Known colloquially in Japan as the "Yak Killer Hornet" this hornet is so large that they are often recruited to play second base for Japan's many national baseball teams. They aren't great at catching baseballs, so instead of trying to get players out, they usually sting any player that makes it to second base until the player 


Goblin Shark


Very little is known about the Goblin Shark. Found most often between Tosa Bay and Boso Peninsula in Japan, the Goblin Shark lives very deep underwater. It spends most of its time being sort of pink and seeming to have no teeth, until it uses electromagnetic signals to find its prey, at which point its teeth extend and it fires itself at its prey. Their most distinguishing feature is that there is nothing scarier than the Goblin Shark, even in nightmares. Other distinguishing features include their lack of a nictating membrane, and how willing their are to pass gas in an elevator.




Blastoises are a non-native species that was introduced to Japan when Shigeru Miyamoto brought one back to guard his house from one of his regular trips to Kanto. They quickly multiplied, and now they are the most common species in Japan. The Blastoise are ill tempered and, unlike most turtles, have two cannons on their back. Because of the recent proliferation of Blastoise in Japan, most Japanese people no longer leave their house, for fear of being blasted to death by Blastoise's powerful water cannons.


What other animals do you hope to see in Japan? Let us know in the comments!


Check Out Japan's Competitive Snowball Battles!