6 Excuses for Getting Out of Gym Class That Probably Work
Gym class is the worst, and there are so many reasons why. Seriously, who thought it’d be a good idea to force kids to participate in physical exercise as part of their education? You’re not learning anything, except for the fact that you feel self conscious running in front of your entire class. And honestly, that’s something you already knew. Need a good excuse to get out of gym class? We got you.
You just ate a big meal
You just ate a huge lunch and don’t want to literally explode all over the gymnasium when you’re doing jumping jacks. Wasn’t there a Buzzfeed article about this happening one time? Some kid in Montana ate too many grilled cheeses just before gym class, then an hour later, they were scraping him off of the basketball court. It’s better to be safe than sorry, so why don’t you just sit this one out?
Your gym clothes burned in a fire
A horrible fire ripped through your house burning nothing except, weirdly, your gym clothes. It was almost as if the fire had a human mind and it was specifically targeting those gym clothes. You’re not a fireman. You don’t know why fire does what it does. But for some reason, it did this. You can’t climb the rope today, because you’d be doing it naked, and that would be inappropriate for every reason.
You have cork legs
You would love to run laps today, honestly, you would. But both of your real, human legs have been replaced with fake cork legs. And ugh you absolutely would be out there with the rest of the students, but damn these fake legs! What cruel god would rob you of your P.E. experience by giving you cork legs?!
You’re a conscientious objector in whatever game you have to play
You can’t take sides in Capture the Flag. To join either the red team or the blue team would be to sacrifice your morals, and you just can’t do that in gym class. You’re like the Switzerland of school sports. Completely neutral, yet secretly financing both sides.
You have your period
Saying that you have your period is the universal code for “I refuse to participate in gym class.” But did you know it can work if you’re a boy, too? In fact, it might work better if you’re a boy, because it implies that there are some serious medical issues you need to take care of right away. It’s like they always say, “a day at the hospital is better than an hour in gym class!”
Bribe your gym teacher
If all else fails, slip your gym teacher a nice, crisp Andrew Jackson and tell them there’s more where that came from if they want it. This could be a very mutually beneficial arrangement. All your gym teacher needs to do is look the other way while you sit on the bleachers and work on your tan, capiche?
How do you get out of gym class? Let us know on Twitter!