6 Lesser Know Hogwarts Classes
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry is the perfect learning environment for any student who wants a comprehensive education that doesn’t include a single class in math, reading or writing. But for every course that lets children dabble in magical potions or try to feed a hippogriff, there are several more classes that never received their due mention in the “Harry Potter” books.
Addressing Your Inner Evil in a Post-Voldemort World
Each year several students arrive at Hogwarts brimming over with wicked intent, nefarious upbringings and just a simple desire to do bad. Unfortunately, with the fall of Voldemort these students no longer have a set evil career path that will let them adequately strike fear in the world and still secure health benefits (including dental). This course helps such directionless kids make the most of their malevolent, malicious skills by becoming lawyers, politicians, bankers and Batman villains.
Enchanted Air Conditioning and Refrigeration
Let’s be honest. Not every Hogwarts students is going to become a wizard hero, achieve an esteemed position in the Ministry of Magic or get to die after only one year of being the Defense of the Dark Arts professor. And that’s okay, because with this course students will learn how to troubleshoot, read electrical diagrams, and even build their own Honeywell LCBS DDC commercial control unit with a few incantations, a magical Allen wrench and the desire to make more money a year than the average struggling wizard.
Mourning and Eulogizing Weasleys
One accidental meeting between Ron and Harry on the train to their first day of Hogwarts and the Weasley family has been paying for it ever since. Due to their unfortunate association with Potter, the Weasleys have as of this writing lost 172 near and distant relatives in epic battles, plans gone awry, and even short walks to the store for milk. This class helps those closest to the cursed clan properly mourn the loss of their friends and bury them in a suitable manner despite the fact that the bodies arrive at a average rate of 16 per hour.
Making Quick Cash through Bar Bets
Hogwarts generally teaches students respect for—or at least dissuades the “pantsing” of–the less-gifted Muggles. That is except for this course, which shows burgeoning wizards how to scam unsuspecting people in Muggle bars out of their money with tricks that will appear to be mere sleights of hand but in actuality involve freezing time and going through wallets.
Assuming Someone Else’s Identity: A Performing Arts Class
Thanks to Polyjuice Potion, anyone can look like someone else no matter what the age or gender. But assuming someone else’s identity is about more than just having their exact physical features. That’s why this class teaches how to mimic different styles of walking, copy mannerisms, and for English students how to impersonate an American accent without sounding like a Monty Python skit. There are even lessons on how to assume forms the potion won’t allow, such as pretending to be an animal by walking on all fours under a shag carpet with horns made out of ice cream cones.
Coping with Being in Hufflepuff
An intensive seven-year course, this program helps students who each year enter the “Nice Guy” dormitory in the dank basement of Hogwarts, look up at that freaking badger against a background of yellow that never looks good on school clothes, sigh, and then secretly wish they were Muggles instead. Each class begins with the Hufflepuffs gathered in a circle, recounting the tales of their fellow house hero Cedric Diggory. Then after several hours of being unable to come up with the name of a single other Hufflepuff student who has accomplished anything of note, the class breaks down into collective sobbing before pleading to be transferred to another boarding school.
What are some other lesser known courses taught at Hogwarts? Let us know in the comments!