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6 Tips So That You Don’t Ruin Karaoke Night

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A lot of people treat karaoke as pretty serious business. There is weird etiquette that casual karaoke-goers may not be familiar with. There are obvious faux pas, like choosing a bad song, but here are some of the lesser-known sins you have to avoid committing at karaoke:

Keep it fast

Did your son fall out of the window of your apartment building and die on impact with the sidewalk? No he didn’t. So why don’t you save the slow, sad stuff for when you’re alone and contemplating the bleakness of our existence, and instead crank out a jam while everyone is at a bar in the mood to enjoy themselves.

Know your range

Do people expect you to be a trained singer at karaoke? No, and in fact the people who do karaoke who clearly have had recording contracts at some point in their lives are kind of annoying. Karaoke is for untrained proles to kick back and not be judged too harshly for their voices. That said, no one wants to be subjected to the kind of audio torture that would’ve forced Noriega out of his compound. Sing something you know you can manage, and if there’s a part with some insane high note that you just can’t pull off (I’m looking at you, Ah-ha’s “Take on me”) then just sit it out. It’s karaoke! No one cares!

If you pick a rap song, know how to rap

We are well past the era in which white people laughed at other white people rapping. Now we do stuff like give them Grammys for it (God help us all). If you’re going to choose a karaoke song like Eminem’s “My Name Is” (God help us all) you better not only know the words, but know his flow. Just going up and trying to say it along with the words on the screen all monotone is like singing a song in whatever key you like.

Take it seriously

The idea of a man singing a song that was sung by a woman is NOT inherently funny, so fellas, don’t like it’s a big joke if you go up and sing “Baby One More Time”. By all means, go up and sing “Baby One More Time”, but actually attempt to really knock it out of the park. THAT is what will get you respect.

But not TOO seriously

Look, we’re all here to have fun, and your eyes welling up with emotion as you belt out whatever song you’re belting out is, uh, kind of bringing us all down.

Remember that no one cares

Look, at the end of the day, it’s karaoke. The odds that anybody really remembers any particular performance from any karaoke night is pretty slim (and if they do remember, it’s probably going to be because a celebrity did it). The main reason people have fun is that they’re out with their friends, so unless your performance somehow kills one of their friends, don’t worry too much about what impact you have on their night.

Love to have nights out with my friends and enjoy myself. Totally a thing I do.