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6 Types of New Year’s Dates

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Nothing says “Date night!” like New Year’s Eve. In fact, New Year’s Eve practically screams, “DATE NIGHT!” making it feel as if you have to go out or face jail time. So here are the six most typical dates to help you enjoy the endure the evening.


”Let’s Just Wing It”


Whether it’s too early in the dating process to know if you’re actually dating—or so long in the relationship process that you now see things like Valentine’s Day as “Laundry Day”—this is the sort of date for people who made no preparations whatsoever. Instead they opt to wander from overcrowded restaurant to busy bar to stranger’s party to drive-thru, until they wind up home watching the ball drop the next day on DVR because they went to bed at ten.


“I Have Something to Prove”


When the relationship starts getting serious—or is in extreme trouble—it’s time to step up your game and go all out. This means high-end restaurant, exclusive party, exclusive after-party and exclusive after-after-party (known to most other people as “January 5th”). Such high-priced, top-line events often have themes like “Bring Your Own Unicorn,” “Let’s Actually Travel to Victorian England” and “Hey, We’re on Mars.”


“Why Don’t We Just Invite a Few Friends Over Instead?”


When you don’t want to deal with the crowds—but you also don’t want to deal with telling people you spent New Year’s Eve on your couch racing as Princess Peach—you can simply have people come over to your place. There you can all kick back, talk at a relaxed volume, eat and drink at a leisurely pace and slowly, gradually, steadily realize that it’s only 8 pm and you now have 15 people on your couch nodding off as you try to make your way through “Moo Moo Meadows” on Mario Kart.


“For $150 Each We Get Shop Rite Vodka and a Cheese Cube!”


For many nothing says “New Year’s Eve” like hitting the club, where for a set price you get to see how many men are wearing the same Ed Hardy shirt, how many women are trying to get their hearts to pump Cuervo Gold, how many times you think you see Pauly D only to realize someone let in a shaved orangutan and how many minutes it takes before you realize you just paid $300 to get photos of someone humping your leg to LMFAO.


“Let’s See What Our Two Millions Buddies Are Doing Tonight!”


For some people it simply isn’t New Year’s Eve without going into the middle of Times Square and battling crowds, claustrophobia and the urge to scream for an airlift out of there. On the upside you get to be part of a great holiday tradition and feed off the remarkable energy that can only come with being part of a huge celebration. On the downside you have to show up at 6 am the previous day for a spot and realize the Starbucks cup you’re holding is now your only toilet.


“Screw It”


Much like a recently orphaned nine-year-old who is left not only to look after his younger siblings but also the day-to-day operations of Exxon Mobil, New Year’s Day has far too much riding on it for just one holiday. People expect it to be the ultimate party holiday, just like they expect Valentine’s Day to be the ultimate romance day and Groundhog’s Day to be the ultimate day about shadows. And sometimes such expectations can get so overwhelming that you decide to say, “Forget it!” get in the Forever Lazy outfits you got for Christmas and just sip some champagne, share a kiss and watch Ryan Seacrest on mute so you can do your own countdown.

Have you had any of these types of NYE dates? Let us know in the comments!

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