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7 Best Break-Up Lines

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I have, over the years, dated a few women and most of said relationships did not end well.

The break up conversations never cease to amaze me, I am always surprised when I ask for the reason why the relationship is ending.  Although some of these lines where uttered by the same person and in a rapid staccato tone I felt they are worth mentioning.

And so, to all the girls I have loved before, I pay homage to you.


“It’s not you, it’s me. But mostly you”!

What is the point of saying it’s not me when, in the same sentence you recant the previous statement and then drop the understood “you suck”?


“I just don’t feel that there is enough room in your life for me and Star Wars”.

Ok, so maybe I do love Star Wars too much. It my defense there was a marathon on cable that shows all of the episodes back to back with limited commercial interruptions, limited I say! Besides she had three sisters, and I am sure there would be another one of them would get married soon.


“I need to focus more on my soaps”

Can you belive it? This by far was the lamest excuse. I do have to give her points for originality though.


“My dogs don't like you”.

I would like it to be known that her dogs LOVED me… more than her. I think that was perhaps the real problem.


“My parents don't approve of you.”

I might understand this if we were like 12, but we are adults! Who cares what your parents think. Can't you make your own decisions? I might have dodged a bullet here.


“Maybe we should revisit this in the fall”.

To this day I am not sure what she meant, I understood the intention just not the words.  This still ranks as the classiest break up ever.


“I don’t think it’s ok to recite lines from Star Trek (the movie) during our intimate times.”

So what, I yelled "Kahn" once. I thought it was kind of funny. I’m not sure what bothered me more, the fact that she broke up with me for something I did once, or that she calls it “intimate times”. Either way it was kind of weird.

What are the best break-up lines you've heard? I'm dying to hear them.


Check Out Break-Up Bloopers!