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7 Infamous Celebrity Spokesperson Fails

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If you’re famous, your celebrity is a currency in and of itself. It’s not enough to make millions of dollars acting, singing, or…uh…sporting. You’ll go above and beyond the line of duty to rake in as much dough as humanly possible by pushing products to the masses – probably because you’ve got so much alimony to pay. Some celebrities, however, sell out in far more respectable manners than that of their degenerate peers. These stars really screwed the pooch when it came to pleasing their corporate overlords.

 

Michael Phelps

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Remember the “toke heard ‘round the world”? Probably not, because I just made up that phrase. Said phrase, of course, is a reference to ol’ Phelpsy, who lost a handful of endorsement deals when pictures of him tokin’ on a bong went viral. His half a million dollar contract with Kellogg’s was (bong) ripped up! You might say deals with AT&T and Rosetta Stone also “went up in smoke.” If you were to say that, however, you’d be terribly unoriginal and painfully unfunny. When he won mo’ gold (medals) in 2012, however, no one gave a rat’s ass about his proclivity for pot – he now shills for big boy brands like Louis Vuitton and Visa. Totally not gnarly, bro!

 

Chris Brown

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”Got Milk?” More like “Got Bail,” am I right? (Note: I am right.) Brown got dropped as a moo juice pitchman when that whole beating his girlfriend, a.k.a. pop superstar Rihanna, thingamajig happened. In a press release, the milk folks expressed their disappointment in the mediocre at best singer/dancer, saying they “[took] the allegations against Chris Brown very seriously” and dumped his ass because they were “very proud and protective of the image of the Milk Mustache campaign and the responsible message it sends to teens.” You hear that, teens? Drink milk! Get strong bones! But don’t hit people with them!

 

Madonna

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In 1989, Pepsi paid Ms. Madge $5 million to be in an ad featuring her single “Like a Prayer” – they did this, of course, before the video, which included scenes of burning crosses and black Jesus makeout sessions, hit MTV. The video’s blasphemous imagery ultimately pissed people off so much that it forced the sweet drank [sic] manufacturer to pull the ad. Madonna went on to buy 2.5 million young, impressionable backup dancers with the money she made off the deal.

 

The Kardashian Sisters

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The Kardashian Kard was essentially just a prepaid MasterCard for teens, marketed by America’s favorite insufferable hags. The card had a bunch of wack-ass fees attached to it – not only did it cost from $60 to $100 to activate, it cost $8 a month to use. After a firestorm of media uproar, including a public shaming by former Connecticut Attorney General Richard Blumenthal, the sisters pulled the plug on their unethical endorsement. In doing so, they lost the opportunity to make $40 to $60 million. What saints! They’re just like three little Mother Teresas, ain’t they?

 

Rachael Ray

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OK, so this one is just friggin’ absurd. In 2008, Rachael Ray appeared in a Dunkin’ Donuts ad. Makes sense, right? I mean, she is a food…uh…personality, after all. A bunch of insane conservative bloggers and talk show hosts, however, demanded Dunkin’ take the ad down because in it, Ray wore a scarf that looked like a keffiyeh, a.k.a. a traditional Arab headdress. By simple virtue of wearing the scarf, the conservative nutjobs declared Ray a “terrorist sympathizer” – one even went so far as to call Ray’s scarf “part of the cultural jihad” against America. Despite the fact that the argument itself was comically absurd, Dunkin’ Donuts crumbled under the pressure and pulled the ad. America runs on Dunkin’ my ass…sounds more like they run on irrationality.

 

Bruce Willis

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Bruce Willis wasn’t always a kickass action hero and ex-husband of Demi “I Got Punk’d” Moore. In the ‘80s, he was a spokesperson for Seagram’s. Y’know, the liquor manufacturer? He was dropped from his contract, however, shortly after getting arrested for drunk driving. I can’t figure out know why he was dropped, though…wouldn’t getting a DUI mean he really liked the product he was advertising? A similar scenario happened with Eric Clapton, who was kicked to the curb by Anheuser-Busch after he told Rolling Stone he had a drinking problem and went to rehab. Ugh! These alcohol companies are so uptight, dude!

 

Kathy Lee Gifford

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Celebrity spokesperson fails don’t get much bigger than Kathie Lee’s. The morning show staple had her own clothing line at Wal-Mart in the early ‘90s – the only thing worse than the horrific looking clothing itself was the fact that it was made in Honduran sweatshops by teen girls earning $0.31 an hour. The media had a field day when they found this out, and Kathie teared up on the evening news accordingly.

 

Do you buy the lame-ass products famous people endorse? Let me know in the comments!

 

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