Funny Articles

7 Reasons That I Am Awesome

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Look guys, I don't mean to toot my own hor but I'm awesome for a miriad of reasons… I mean, look at me… I'm a blogger for Smosh! Funny, talented guy… who obviously has it all together, but if that doesn't convince you of my glorious awesomeness… perhapse this will…


1. In the last year I have not worn the same pair of socks twice.

One of the great things about America is that socks are cheap, and the standard of living is relatively high. I hate the thought of wearing old socks as much as I love that new sock smell. I will have a lot of laundry to do very shortly.


2. In the last 2 years I have eaten my body weight in cheese.

I know it is not healthy but c'mon, it is delicious cheese!


3. I never say goodbye at the end of a call.

I just end a sentence and hang up or quote a line from an 80's movie and disconnect. Yippie-ki-yay, mother…….. Click


4. I never drink the last 1/4 of a soda.

I am not sure when this habit started but it is well know that the last 1/4 of the soda is a hotbed for cooties.


5. I use my tracheotomy scar to avoid social interaction.

Like Katherine Zeta-Jones I had a tracheotomy when I was younger. My scar isn't quite as lovely as hers… mine is huge and gnarly. I also have a scars on my face/head and there is always some jackass in Target that thinks its OK ask personal questions of me, even though I have never seen him before. I just lower the neck of my shirt to show the scar and kinda shrug my shoulders. It never fails.


6. I randomly sing songs… some real… some made up.

I do it in the store, in the line at the bank, anywhere. I don't even think about it, all of a sudden I will find myself 3 bars into "She blinded me with science". The odd thing is that I never get dirty looks. I guess people dig Thomas Dolby.


7. Not a day has passed in the last two years that I have not done the robot dance.

Its a nervous habit, some people twiddle their thumbs, some fidget in their chair… I dance. I get some odd looks, but in the end everybody loves the robot!

Now you know why I am awesome. List 7 reasons why are YOU awesome? Tell me in the comments.


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