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The 7 Toughest Japanese School Girls Ever

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The school girls you and I know are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice. But in Japan school girls tend to be way into kicking the crap out of things and having robot parts installed on them. They are so tough. One time I asked a Japanese School Girl for directions to the store and she responded by grabbing my right arm, tearing it from my body, and then hitting me with it until I apologized for interrupting her. So who are the very toughest of the truly tough in the world of the Japanese School Girl?


Eri Yoshida


Drafted by a Professional Baseball team in 2008, Eri was the first female ever to be drafted by a pro team in Japan, and at only 16 years of age. From what I know of Japanese School Girls that means that her team, the Kobe 9 Cruise, will now be beset by demons from outer space who want to steal their sexual organs to build an organic machine out of sex parts to destroy the universe. So look forward to that Kobe 9 Cruise fans!


Machine Girl


She has a Gatling gun for an arm. Do you have any idea how few North American schoolgirls have a Gatling gun for an arm? Almost less than 14%.




Not many hot young girls can say they've defeated a Brazilian monster dude that shoots electricity out of his back. Sakura likes to do two things: under dress and defeat all comers.


Sailor Moon


Before you say, "Dude, get real, Sailor Moon is not tough," remember that this once happened: "Queen Nehelenia, Evil Queen of the Dark Moon, plunged Earth into darkness and covered it with spiderlike threads. With the help of everyone on Earth, Sailor Moon and Sailor Mini Moon used a crystal to shoot a gold energy beam at Nehelenia, defeating her and destroying the circus tents."

Now I don't know what the hell any of that meant, but it all sounds pretty damn tough to me.


Mutant Girls Squad


Just to give you a hint of how tough these girls are, the list of credits in this movie include such characters as: "Exploding Head Soldier," "Astro-Mutant," and most importantly, "Mutant Girl – Breast Swords."


Pretty Much Every Chick In Battle Royale


Dozens of school girls on an island who are forced to battle each other to be the last left alive. Most school girls would probably freak out and get all whiny. Japanese school girls however, as usual, immediately turned anything they could into weapons and killed the crap out of each other. Chances are if they had been brought to an island just to hang out and catch some sun, given that it was Japanese school girls, it probably would still have ended up in a bloodbath.


Whoever The Hell This Is


This Japanese school girl is so tough that this was what she decided to do when he realized a butterfly had landed on her forehead.


What would you like to see in vending machines? Let us know in the comments!

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