Banned From Schools: The 7 Weirdest Things Schools Said No To
July 22, 2018
There are some EXTREMELY OBVIOUS things that should never be on
school grounds, like guns, class II narcotics, and current United States Education Secretary Betsy DeVos. But when it comes to creating a safe and structured learning environment, some schools have been a little too sensitive, because there’s no way that banning these seven things was absolutely necessary.
1 of 7
In hundreds of schools in the UK and Australia, grading papers with red ink was banned due to the color red's "confrontational" and "threatening" nature. Well the joke's on them, because frankly kids need to feel a little threatened to stop them from constantly mixing up "there" and "their", and the color green sure as sh*t ain't gonna do it.
2 of 7
In 2009, Jackson High School in Michigan banned students from carrying their books around in backpacks, calling it a safety precaution that would also "eliminate a way for students to easily steal things". First of all, the last time we checked, a Jansport backpack
would never hurt a soul, and second, what the hell was there to steal from a high school student in 2009 besides a paper bag lunch and a Kelly Clarkson mixtape? You didn't deserve this, Jansport.
3 of 7
In 2008, an Ohio school claimed that black makeup was "off-limits" after a 13-year-old boy came in wearing black lipstick, eye makeup, and nail polish. The school justified the ban by saying they didn't allow "extreme or distracting" makeup. Ugh, they just
don't get it *flips long black wisp of hair from face and emo-rages to Panic! at the Disco*
4 of 7
Last year, a number of UK schools opted to ban students from having best friends, to avoid "feelings of exclusion" among those who don't have best friends and "encourage all students to form bonds with one another". Wait, wait, wait, is this hell? This sounds suspiciously close to a description of a special circle of hell.
5 of 7
Mentions of Dinosaurs, Birthdays, and Halloween
Back in 2012, the New York Department of Education banned references to dinosaurs, birthdays, Halloween, and dancing from city-issued tests. The reason behind the banned words were because "Dinosaurs could bring up evolution, Halloween could suggest paganism, and birthdays might create animosity among students who are Jehovah’s witnesses, since they don’t celebrate them." You know what? This is great. Let's make sure that no kid ever knows that different people have different beliefs by eliminating the fun stuff from life altogether. GREAT WORK, BIG APPLE! Speaking of which, apples make us think of the Eve in the Garden of Eden sooooo sorry, pal,
looks like you got more words to kill! (PS - f*ck you. The dinosaurs already died once. Haven't they been through enough?)
6 of 7
In 2007, a Connecticut elementary school banned any competitive games that end with a winner from recess, instead encouraging students to play games like jump rope and hula hoop. Balls were basically banned altogether. (Side note — why ARE balls so naturally competitive?) The Principal stated that the rule was to encourage students to "build skills and camaraderie rather than competition and conflict". Well, there's nothing like the concept of grades to REALLY let a kid know what it feels like to be a loser, so this... probably did nothing and is the dumbest idea ever.
7 of 7
Father's Day cards
A Scottish elementary school banned Father's Day Cards so that it wouldn't upset single mothers or lesbian mothers. Actually this... this one we're good with, but mostly because there aren't that many dads who DESERVE ONE ANYWAY, DAD!!
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