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8 Best Movie Jobs To Get As A Summer Job

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It’s a fair guess that this year will be tougher than most to find a decent summer job. But why fight 10,000 people for the same lifeguard, store clerk or intern position when you can take a cue from summer movies and apply for these exciting film-endorsed employment opportunities?


1. Scientist Who Saw This Coming Years Ago

Job requires making predictions once thought so preposterous—and now clearly accurate—that you were disgraced from NASA/State Department/Lenscrafters. Must be willing to go off the grid and into a secluded cabin where you spend your days forgetting to shave, feverishly writing in composition notebooks and muttering, “Like the aliens won’t know how to cash checks. Please!”


2. Love Interest to Superhero

Position involves being cynical to main character’s claims but then easily convinced when they bend concrete or hover over Manhattan. Should not be able to identify boyfriend when they wear glasses. Have to be flexible regarding being kidnapped, being strapped to a time bomb or being played by someone else in the sequel.


3. First Person to Be Killed by Creature

Although it offers a limited period employment, this job is absolutely crucial as it introduces the film’s monster. Entails you get naked and drunk before jumping into the ocean, naked and drunk before meeting a mysterious date or naked and drunk before opening the Necronomicon and unleashing hell.


4. Teen in Way over His or Her Head

Need be a nobody who stumbles into a situation that summons previously untapped reserves of bravery, intelligence and abilities to infiltrate secret lairs with a borrowed lab coat. Must have a companion of the opposite sex who can’t stand you until the third act, when they profess their undying love just as you’re both about to die. Should be unusually muscular and proficient in hand-to-hand combat for someone shoved into their locker just two days ago.


5. Lone Good Cop

Must be on fast track to success before a simple case unveils a swath of corruption that goes all the way to the top, including the Governor, President and God. Need to have a family that can be threatened, a fellow good cop that can be killed and a dark secret (ex: likes the robot hookers) that can be exploited. Be prepared to be beaten, shot at and uninvited to dinner parties.


6. Clueless TV News Reporter

Requires current employment with Cable News Channel, Global News Network or any 24-hour cable news station that sounds vaguely familiar but can’t be found on Google. Applicant need be able to report the news, become the news and serve as an obstacle to the news. Smugness, narcissism and all-too-late realization that the hero was indeed right about sentient cars/imminent ice age/ghost assassins a plus.


7. Wacky Best Friend to Romantic Lead

Should be so interested in friend’s love life that most psychiatrists would suggest intense therapy and most police would require immediate relocation. Have to be always available for brunch, drinks, talks or long walks through food markets thanks to being only surgeon who can do her job via cell phone. Is so devoid of own desires, personal problems or traits that when romantic lead closes her eyes you actually disappear.


8. Doggy

Must be very affectionate. Must be exceptionally well trained. Must never, ever empty your bowels unless it is for comedic effect.

So which job from a movie do you think you’d be perfect for this summer?

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