8 Fictional Families I’m Grateful To Not Be A Part Of
It's that time of the year when for better or worse we're spending a lot of time with our families. I don't know about you, but for me that means at least a few awkward moments, a couple of petty fights and probably one melodramatic revelation. Family. You gotta love them…right? But as much as my family bugs me sometimes, I'll take them over these broods any day!
The Cullens–The Twilight Series
The only thing I have in common with them is my deathly pale complexion, except my skin burns in the sun like a normal friggin' person! The Cullens are the most boring vampires to ever exist, period. If I'm gonna be a vampire, you better believe I'm gonna be a vampire like a boss and throw down some mad undead evil kinds of sh*t, yo! Plus I really don't want Bella Swan as a sister-in-law. Especially if killing her is forbidden.
The Griffins–Family Guy
I don't wanna be the Meg in this family! I may be the black sheep of my family now, but at least they're the ones seeking my approval and not vice versa. I'm pretty sure even my self-esteem would be crushed after years of knowing I'm the expendable child. It would also suck to have the story of my birth include a failed abortion prequel. Not so funny when it happens to you.
The Lannisters–Game Of Thrones
Drama, much? I guess I'm just not that into ruthless scheming and constant betrayal. Or incest. I don't care how hot my twin is (I feel you Cersei, Jaime is very tempting), I would never wanna hear him roar. And even if you're not getting your incest on, you have to deal with the genetic messes that they spawn. I'm looking at you Joffrey! Can you imagine having someone named Joffrey in your family?? That name is all kinds of stupid.
The Bluths–Arrested Development
As much as I'd love a cornballer for Christmas, I'd have to pass on joining this clan. Besides, they already have a 'normal one,' Michael. Which means that I'd have to be a weird one. And there's no way I could out-weird analrapist Tobias Funk.
The Smiths–Powerpuff Girls
I could never be in any family that dares to challenge the Powerpuff Girls! Especially if they saddled me with a homemade tutu costume. If you're gonna be a supervillain let's try and be a little bad ass about it…mmmkay?
Pros: Escalade on your 16th birthday, father will threaten to kill the guy who broke your heart, Mom is constantly cooking sausage and peppers. Cons: You have to introduce a guy as Big Pussy to your friends, Living in a McMansion, getting revenge raped and decapitated by the Lupertazzi Crime Family. No dice! I don't care how good the chicken parm is!
The Malfoys–The Harry Potter Series
The Camdens–7th Heaven
I would take any of the other families over these a-holes. Just thinking about being in this family makes me feel all stabby. Plus I do not take matching outfit family photos EVER! It's like my creed or something.
Which fictional family would you hate to be a part of? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!