8 Fictional Schools I’d Be Scared To Attend
As much as you think you might hate your school, trust me, it could be WAY worse. Dying of boredom is better than dying because a demented dead janitor rips out your veins and turns you into a marionette puppet. Just sayin'! The drama and annoyance of high school is thousand-fold in fiction, and as much as I enjoy it on the page or the screen, IRL I want my surroundings to be drama, murder and blasphemous cover song free. Here's my list of fictional schools I would be friggin' scared to attend.
Sunnydale High – Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Don't get me wrong…I would totally love to shoot the sh*t with the Scooby Gang. Making witty and hilarious commentary on pop culture all day? I'm there! But the minute a scary ass demon crashes the party, the only thing funny happening will be me making pee-pee in my pants. High school is supposed to be hell, not a Hellmouth.
Maybe I'm just not in the mood to get accidentally knocked-up, bullied, abused, to kiss my brother or have to constantly deal with suicide, addiction, eating disorders, homophobia, racism or depression. Sounds exhausting! But really, I think it's the fact that Degrassi has a graduation requirement that you understand your feelings and nothing frightens me more than looking into the recesses of my cold, black soul. Besides dealing with your feelings inevitably leads to journaling and I do NOT write down my inner-most thoughts in a book that someone will someday find. Nothing good ever comes from that. Am I right, Fiona?
Woodsboro High School – Scream Franchise
It's one thing to find out your best friend has stabbed you in the back. It's quite another when they literally stab you in the back while wearing a scary firetruckin' mask and then mock your lack of knowledge in the area of teen slasher flicks as you bleed out. High school should not be that brutal.
Hogwarts–Order Of The Phoenix And Beyond
I'm so down with Hogwarts in the early books. I could totally take Quirrel! And I'm pretty sure I could kill a basilisk, I mean I'd be screaming like a girl when I did it, but hey I am a girl. But there is no friggin' way I could deal with Umbridge! And the Hogwarts of the last two books? That sh*t gets REAL! Wow, I'm a hopelessly frightened wanker. Maybe I need to go to Hogwarts so I grow up to be a little more Neville Longbottom and a little less Peter Pettigrew.
Springwood High School–Nightmare On Elm Street Franchise
School janitors are kind of creepy already. But this freak takes the cake! There's only one thing worse than being pushed into a pool of blood. And that's having a smartass psychopath asking, "How's this for a wet dream?" as he shoves you in. Talk about adding insult to fatal injury!
Okishima Island School–Battle Royale
I was able to navigate the high school social scene pretty successfully. But something tells me my excellent social skills would not help me survive a 'fight til the death' battle that can only have one victor. My superior hiding skills might help…if my scaredy-cat teeth chattering doesn't give me away. Looking on the bright side, I would probably die of a heart attack the minute the child above approached me. That doll is scarier than a sawed-off shotgun could ever be.
Xavier's School For Gifted–X-Men
If I have to go to a superhero training school I'd prefer Sky High. Less explosions, less Magneto. Plus, I don't know any teen girls who would wanna walk the halls of their high school wearing skin tight spandex uniforms. If I had to do that I'd be praying for the X-men equivalent of a snow day…BRING ON THE SIDRI ATTACK!
McKinley High School- Glee
Seriously? Is there anything scarier than the thought of walking down the hallway at school and having your ears assaulted by a choral arrangement of a Nickelback song? I rest my case.
Which fictional schools would you be scared to attend? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!