9 Reasons Werewolves Are Better Than Vampires
The last few years have seen a butt-load of movies, books, and tv shows about mythical creatures of the night. Vampires kicked it off with things like “Twilight” and “True Blood,” but werewolves are FINALLY getting some recognition with shows like MTV’s Teen Wolf.
So which of these classic cursed monsters is better: vampires, or werewolves? Trick question – it’s werewolves, DUH. Here’s 9 reasons why.
Vampires drink blood. That’s it. It’s not a side dish or a desert. It’s all blood, all the time. Try taking one to a restaurant. They are worse than vegans. However, if you are a werewolf, most of the time you are just a normal human, so that means you can have pizza, burritos, cupcakes, burritocakes… anything!
8. Teen vampires are creepy
I watch you in your sleep
When you are a teen werewolf, you are actually a teen, so dating teens is ok. There might be some extra drama when you turn into a half-animal, but still ok. Teenage vampires, on the other hand, are 100-year-old murders who like to “date young.” Gross. Plus, guess who is never going to look old enough to get into a bar?
7. Werewolves are not immortal
“Whoa whoa whoa” you might be thinking. “I WANT to live forever like a vampire.” Sure, it sounds good now, but 200 years, you start to get really bored, especially when you can’t go out during the day. Plus, “immortal” doesn’t really mean that much when you can be killed by a bunch of stupid crap.
6. Werewolves can’t be killed by a bunch of stupid crap
Bad for vampires AND cholesterol
In the classic mythology, werewolves were killed by silver bullets or sometimes a silver sword. Do you know how much silver costs? Vampires, on the other hand, are vulnerable to sunlight, crosses, holy water, wooden stakes, and garlic. GARLIC! You aren’t really a dangerous creature of the night if one of your weaknesses is the main ingredient in Prego.
5. Werewolves always have cut abs for some reason
Also, werewolves don’t own a lot of shirts
Maybe running around the forest is good stomach exercise, or maybe something in the werewolf curse changes your DNA, but werewolves always have GREAT abs. I might be willing to accept the murderous curse of the wolf if it helped tone by core.
4. Werewolves are friendlier
In a lot of vampire movies or shows, the vampires are actively trying to slay each other by doing things like pulling off each other’s heads. It’s like vampires know how much they suck and want to put an end to it. Werewolves on the other hand seem to get along a lot better.
3. Werewolves are only accidently horrible murderers
Clearly a d-bag
Listen, it’s sad when people are torn apart by mythical creatures. But at least when a werewolf kills someone, it’s an accident. Like, he didn’t know what he was doing – he was a WOLF, you know? Vampires know exactly what they are doing, and most of them are smug jerks about it.
2. Vampires are actually dead
Vampires have a reputation for sexiness, but in reality they are just zombies that are afraid to chew. Seriously, I don’t care how dreamy his hair is, a “hot” vampire is a walking corpse. Ew.
1. Under no circumstances do werewolves ever sparkle
I’m sorry. I can’t take you seriously if your bare chest looks like Ke$ha’s makeup cabinet.
What are some other reasons werewolves are better than vampires? Will you be watching MTV’s Teen Wolf? Let us know in the comments!
Here's an interview with a professional werewolf on why werewolves rule. You should trust him. He's a professional!