9 of the Worst Years of All Time
Was 2016 the worst year ever? LOL, no. I mean, it sucked, don’t get me wrong. Any year that elects Donald Trump to the presidency f*cking sucks balls. AND taking Carrie Fisher? F*ck 2016. But let’s be realistic — 2016 may be the worst year of our short lifetimes, but it’s not the worst year of all time. Here are the nine WORST years of all time.
65.5 million BC
Ugh, that damned meteor. Dinosaurs dominated the Earth for 160 million years. That’s right, more than twice as long as they’ve been extinct, and more than oh god math umm I think 32 times as long as humans have been around? Then a damned asteroid came and killed them all. It hit all of them. F*ck.
That’s when humans evolved from our ancestors and everything bad began. Everything started going downhill for us that year, because we existed.
In 1347, the bubonic plague spread to Europe on trade ships and became a pandemic. The plague started in China and spread when Mongol armies flung the bodies of plague victims over the walls of the city of Kaffa in the Crimea in order to infect the inhabitants, in one of the grossest forms of early biological warfare. Genovese traders in Kaffa fled on their ships to Italy, where they promptly infected all of Europe. Over the next five years, 25 million people died — one third of the population of Europe. Terrible year.
This is the first year the Portuguese brought enslaved Africans to Europe. This would later become the Trans-Atlantic slave trade, and it didn’t end for another FOUR CENTURIES. 1441 is the year that started four centuries of the worst sh*t humans can do to each other. Definitely f*ck 1441.
RIP, Archduke Franz Ferdinand. Yes, 1914 is the year World War I started. It was supposed to be the war to end all wars, and we all know how that turned out. 16 million people died for… ?!?! Nobody is sure. But Austro-Hungary sure showed Serbia.
It’s hard to pick one worst year of the Holocaust. They were all so bad! But 1942 was a particularly deadly year of the Holocaust and the war in general. 1943, also very bad. 1944, quite terrible. 1945 had a horrific first half, better second half (for the people who survived the first half).
Disco didn’t die, it was murdered. The ’80s were terrible. They killed one of the greatest subcultures to ever exist — the diverse, joyful world of disco — and replaced it with neon and hair metal bands. Gross.
Britney Spears and Kevin Federline got married. As a young girl who didn’t yet know I was gay, this was devastating for me.
LOL sorry, just wait.
What do you think was the worst year of all time? Tweet at me and let me know @erikaheidewald!