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Is Apple Set to Release a Mini-iPad?

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I tried to put my iPad in my pocket the other day and it didn't fit, even though my pockets have a lot of space because I am shockingly fat. Of course it fell out and of course the screen broke, and I was so frustrated at the iPad for being so big that it couldn't do simple things like fit in my pocket or stop its out of control eating or be loved by a woman. But through my cracked screen, I was able to read an article on Kotaku which indicated that Apple is planning a 7 inch iPad to release sometime in the third quarter of this year and cost between $249 and $299, or roughly 31 to 37 Chipotle burritos.

mini ipad
It's so little you could eat it right up! AND I WILL.

It's being said that Apple would release a 7 inch tablet as a "counter attack" to the smaller, less expensive Kindle Fire and the upcoming Windows 8 tablets. But counter attacks tend to stay out of Apple's game plan. If they were to release a smaller iPad, it would be part of a broader strategy, possibly one to capture the MySpace user and large women employed as hairdressers consumer base who love to bedazzle things.

bedazzled ipad
Many analysts believed Apple would stay out of the "cheap enough for idiots to put sparkly sh*t on it" market space.

One argument in favor of a 7 inch iPad is the summit Apple held for its push into the education space earlier this year. It stands to reason that an inexpensive iPad would go a long way towards making high schools and universities more amenable to choosing iPads over textbooks. The other thing that makes high schools and universities more amenable to iPads over textbooks is how f*cking sweet Infinity Blade II looks.

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These graphics are better than textbooks' graphics.

So why wouldn't Apple just release a mini iPad and give customers the option? And it's because they get that non-computer minded computer users, like our moms, are a) a huge market and b) hate thinking about their computer choices. They want to just go into the Apple Store and shout "iPad! iPad! iPad!" until someone hands them an iPad. The more choices they have, the more afraid they are that they're going to buy the wrong one, which is a hurdle to buying an iPad that Apple doesn't need. For instance, you and I are tech savvy, so we know that the New iPad is the 3rd generation iPad and is superior to last year's iPad 2 because of its retina display that boasts a 2048 x 1536 pixel resolution and features an advanced A5X chip featuring improved battery performance to support the 4G LTE cellular network. But my mom hears all that and her brain just breaks.

batman over dead justice league
"Are anyone else's eyes getting cold?"

Do you think Apple is going to ship a 7 inch iPad? And would you buy one? Why or why not? Let me know @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!


Check out My Unreasonable Expectations For The iPad 3!