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Bane’s Tips for a Relaxing Weekend!

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When I, Bane, took control of Gotham, I chose to poison the soul of its citizens with hope before reducing their city to ashes. But as it turns out, my plan of sending them cowering into their homes and patroling the streets with armed guards did not prove as hopeful a situation as I had planned. And so, I would like to offer to you, THE PEOPLE, my tips to relieve some of the horrors of your workweek—Here is how you shall enjoy a stress-free weekend! LET THE GAMES BEGIN.


Go see a scary movie

bane at movie theater


I do not feel afraid while I watch a scary movie in the theaters, because it is not the time for fear. That comes later. Like when you're back home and about to go to sleep! EVERYthing seems like a monster!


Go to the batting cages! WITH YOUR FRIENDS!

bane batting cages


I wondered what would break first! Your spirit, or your record! Of thirteen consecutive hits!


Crash this plane. WITH NO SURVIVORS!

bane plane crash


If you don't consistantly crash a plane WITH NO SURVIVORS, you risk losing your ability to crash a plane. WITH NO SURVIVORS!


Make ice cream soup!

bane and ice cream


Did you realize that stirring your ice cream will make it SOFTER? The only problms is that stirring it can me your arm… TIRED.


Take a class… in YOGA!

bane yoga class


Only through yoga can you truly strengthen your body… and your mind. And then. When it is done. When yoga is… over… then you have my permission to fart.


Spend some time… at the DOG PARK!

bane at dog park


There are such cute PUPPIES! How I WISH I could pet them ALL!


Stay in and order a pizza. No… Order TWO pizzas!

bane eating pizza


I am pizza's reckoning!


How will you employ these tips? Respond to the Twitter feed @mikeyfromsu or in the comments below!


Check out the First World Problems of Batman Villains!