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Bieber Fever Is Real, SAYS SCIENCE!

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So I believe we're all familiar with the symptoms of Bieber Fever. Late night pillow kissing. Loss of hearing. Unintentional same-sex attraction. I'm also pretty sure we all assumed Bieber Fever was kind of a joke. Not so says, science. IT'S REAL! And it's highly contagious. Luckily I got the vaccine. Common sense and good taste.

bieber fever real game show

This quiz show question is no longer accurate.


University of Ottawa scientists have recently made the claim that Bieber Fever is a legit disease. Using a Canadian mathematical formula, the SIR model, the scientists have proven that Bieber Fever is more contagious than measles. YIKES!  Personally I'd rather face fever, spots and possible death, than ever post something as shamefully delusional as this:

bieber fever real tweet belieber cobain


So how do we stop the spread of this highly contagious disease? The research shows that the only way Beliebers can be cured is by boredom or a steady steam of negative Bieber press. Cool! Now I feel like my negative Bieber stories are like, curing something. I'm totally a snarky, 'hater' Jonas Salk! My family can finally feel proud.

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The bad news is that a constant stream of positive press will not only easily reinfect the 'cured' Beliebers, but eventually,  could infect us all. WHA???? I don't wanna live on this planet anymore if it's populated with billions of these:

bieber fever real girlfriend obsessed meme


I think I'm gonna have to start a 'Find A Cure'  charity. Because this disease MUST be eradicated. I've found the perfect inspirational animated logo. I'm not advocating killing Bieber, just the illness he's spreading. I'm infected with GIF love right now.

bieber fever real animated death


What do you think? FACT or junk science? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments!

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