Funny Articles

Breeds Of Dogs That Never Get Their Own Movie

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Golden Retrievers, Huskies, Dalmations, and Chihuahuas. If you aren't one of those races of dogs, or a member of Dog Scientology, you don't get to act in movies. Most other breeds of dogs are almost as underrepresented in movies as Asians. So what are the breeds of dogs that are the most underrrepresented, that truly never get to be in movies?


Cocker Spaniel


Never has a Cocker Spaniel gotten the role of leading dog in a movie. But, to be fair, they do suck ass.


Dandy Dinmont Terrier


Before Dandy Dinmont Terriers can play an active role in Hollywood films we still need to finally overturn heinous outdated marriage laws and once and for all make Dandy Dinmont Terrier on Dandy Dinmont Terrier Marriage legal.


Chinese Crested Dogs


Chinese Crested Dogs have been fighting to be given better roles in movies for decades, but if they really wanted to be in the limelight maybe they should stop looking so much like Hell coughed up a bunch of baby demons.


Great Pyranees


These dogs are basically the Morgan Freeman of dogs. Wise old dogs with deep voices, there's no reason why these dogs don't get more limelight shown down on them. Any Great Pyranees whose taken even basic level acting classes could be a perfectly serviceable Dumbledore.




Komondors are notoriously bad at auditions, mostly because every time they come in for an audition the casting director says, "Man, what the hell is that? Did a giant mop get brought to life by a retarded wizard?"




Malteses actually used to be very popular stars in Hollywood movies, but they are notorious racists and anti-semites, and their aggressive and vocal belief in Eugenics. Plus, Malteses are the only dogs whose paws are shaped like swastikas.


The Seven Headed Constant Screamer


These are my favorite kind of dogs, I don't know what Hollywood's problem is. They sure do scream a lot though. 


What other dogs are snubbed by Hollywood? And why? Let us know in the comments!


Check Out The Idiots Guide To Owning A Friggin Dog!