Funny Articles

Chain Day Care?

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FLuffee’s weekly post!

Chaining your dog to a pole, OK, that’s normal but is chaining your two year-old son to a pole really the best kind of daycare? For a Beijing man named Chen, chaining his two year-old son to a pole was a last resort and he really didn’t have any other choice. He was just trying to prevent his son from being stolen.

You may be thinking like I was when I first saw this article, which was basically: some retards just don’t deserve kids. But really, this guy’s head was in the right place so I can’t be mean to him, which is a damn shame.

You see Chen is a very poor man. He couldn’t afford daycare and didn’t qualify for free day care so his only choice, when going to work, was to leave his two year-old on the street. He drives a motorcycle taxi cab for work so you can see why he couldn’t just bring his son to work, but honestly I would much rather have my son in a basket on my motorcycle than in the streets surround by creeps.



I feel this couple would have been better off to not have children at all–not to be mean, but you have to make sure you can afford to give your child a good life before you bring it into the world. By the way: a good way to tell if you can’t afford a child is if you have to leave it on the street.

Apparently kids being left on the street is a very common thing in Beijing so maybe this man is on to something with this child lock. Because if you’re going to be leaving your kid on the street you might as well lock him up. Someone should patent this idea.

If you don’t like the lock idea but still need to leave your kids on the street, well I’ve come up with some other really good solutions to prevent your kids from being abducted. First off: have you ever thought of just hiding your kid instead of letting them roam around, just pick a nice bush or garbage can and tell them to stay in that spot? OK, maybe not the best of my ideas but wait — I have more.

If you made your kid look like the ugliest kid in the world then who would want to take him? Now be careful you don’t make the kid so ugly he’s cute because I don’t know, some perverts might be into that.

My last solution is to just make your kid smell so horribly bad that no one would want to get near the kid because if an abductor can’t stand the smell in his van (all abductors seem to have vans), then he’ll just put the kid back.

This kid would probably smell bad enough to do the trick.


So what have we learnt from this story? Don’t leave your kids on the street. But, if you do — lock them up because, well, it’s better then nothing.