Funny Articles

This Conspiracy Theory Says Justin Bieber Transformed Into a Lizard Person While Touring Australia

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Ever since a video of Justin Bieber seemingly changing the color of his eyes while at a court hearing surfaced online a few years back, the internet has been rampant with conspiracy theories that the Biebs is part of a Reptilian-Illuminati race that can shape-shift themselves into lizard people at will. Now, a screenshot (which could be fake and probably is fake because it’s about lizard people) from an Australian paper is making the rounds, which claims that not only is this conspiracy theory true, but that a number of Australian citizens allegedly witnessed the singer shape-shift.


The above article from Perth Now isn’t on their website because it was either deleted on orders from the Illuminati, or never existed. However, it detailed eye-witness accounts of people who allegedly saw Justin transform into his natural reptilian state. The article explained how Justin was walking through an airport, when he suddenly transformed into a lizard with “greenish-brown claws” and “turd-colored scales”. Others claimed Bieber took “full female reptilian form” and that “his head shrunk and his eyes went black with a black stripe down the middle. He grew a few feet taller and had gross colored scales all over his body.” I mean, what more proof do we need besides this article’s unsourced Australian citizens’ eye-witness accounts? I guess actual proof? Like hard evidence? Yeah, actually we probably need some hard evidence to be 100 percent behind this. After all, everyone knows Australians are the LAST people on earth to be trusted, what with all their bloomin’ onions and abbreviated phrases (is it SO hard to say “barbecue” as opposed to “barbie”?! You’re only losing one syllable!) That said, we are still a hard 97.6 percent behind this.

In addition to the airport incident, a “local skater” also claimed to have seen Justin shape-shift multiple times while the singer was out with his bodyguard, saying “He was hanging around with this big guy, his bodyguard I guess, and we were just staring because he kept turning into a huge reptile. His bodyguard was pointing at us, shouting that he’d kick our teeth in if we didn’t put our phones away.”

Hopefully whoever reported this can find some hard evidence of Justin’s shape-shifting, because someone somewhere MUST have a picture or video on their smartphone. It’s only a matter of time until one brave witness or clever hacker comes forth with the evidence we need to send Justin Bieber back into space, once and for all…

What do you think of the Justin Bieber Lizard-Man Conspiracy Theory? Do you think the US Government is using so-called “real” issues like health care and immigration to distract us from this all-important truth?! Do you think the people of Australia are safe? Do you think the guy who wrote that article got fired, or promoted because Perth Now is probably getting more clicks this week than it ever has before?! Let us know all your thoughts and theories @Smosh!