8 Creepiest Product Mascots
Not every product has a mascot as cute as the Snuggle bear or the Jollibee. They just make me wanna dive into a basket of fresh laundry and eat questionable Filipino noodle dishes. But some product mascots are downright creepy. You have to wonder what the people in charge of marketing were thinking when they came up with these creeps to represent their brands!
McDonalds—Old School Ronald McDonald
Like all other sane people in the world, I'm pretty much not a fan of clowns. But I have to say I've never been terrorized by the modern Ronald McDonald. But the old school Ronald?? He's like up there with the clown from Stephen King's It when it comes to giving me the heebie jeebies. I'm pretty sure if you accept his offer for a Happy Meal, your corpse will end up in his crawl space. Next to the original Grimace.
Maybe it's just me, but mucus, phlegm and snot are my hardcore barf triggers. Honestly I'm getting a little faint right now just from typing those words. I really don't wanna think of those little green blobs with their stereotypical working-class personalities, watching reruns of Dog the Bounty Hunter until they are hacked out of their ugly plaid couch into a hanky. No, I do not want to think of that at all. Deep breaths.
Trojan Condoms–Trojan Man
Talking about sex is awkward enough without having some d-bag dressed like a member of the Trojan army butting in and handing you pleasure condoms. I guess this could be considered a brilliant marketing strategy. I'm sure a lot more guys just used a friggin' condom out of fear that Trojan Man would barge in during their sexy times. I mean who needs that comparison? They don't call him the 'Trojan Horse' for nothing!
Jack In The Box–Jack
Can you think of a more psychopathic combination than a clown and a CEO? Although after seeing this commercial of Jack with his parents, I really don't see how he could have turned out any differently. No one can be normal with a dad who talks about taking boner pills.
I wanna love them. I do. And I applaud Quiznos for being hip to internet trends and really pushing the envelope with this weird ass commercial. But they look like how I imagine those tumors with hair and teeth would appear. Only living. Shudder! I'm glad these commercials are no more. Because I do love Quiznos subs. And they got a pepper bar!
Six Flags–Mr. Six Flags
First of all…creepy old guys and buses should never go together. And honestly, when I see this guy dancing I don't think it's cute. I think of him kidnapping me and making me rub salve on his swollen feet for the promise of a butterscotch candy. That's not 'More Fun!', Six Flags.
This commercial doesn't make me want to cure my toe fungus with Lamisil. It makes me want to cut my friggin' toes completely off so that Digger will never be able to dive into my nail bed and turn my toenail into a hardened yellow shell. Speaking of thick yellow toenails, I should really call my Peepaw.
Burger King–The King
There is only one type of person you wake up to find in your bed wearing a creepy ass plastic mask. That is the type of person who is about to gut you with a rusty scythe blade. So enjoy that Croissan'wich. It will be ripped out of your tummy soon.
Which product mascot do you find the creepiest? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!