Creepy Twilight Wedding Barbies Coming Soon!
Mattel has done it again! After completely sullying their longtime reputation by announcing that they would be releasing a limited-edition set of Kardashian dolls, Mattel is now releasing a pair of Twilight wedding dolls in time for Valentine's Day. I guess they're telling us that it's the perfect Valentine's Day gift?! Way to go, Mattel! You completely suck. Can't you just stick to making dolls that forever ruin little girl's perspective of what their bodies should look like? And is there a group of girls out there less-likely to have a Valentine than Twihards?
Besides being STUPID, these dolls are hideous. I mean Bella is basically Barbie with brown hair and slightly smaller boobs. But Edward!? He looks like he's made out of white play-doh and is sporting a cheap Ron Weasley Halloween wig. Plus… no sparkle? For $29.95 my Edward Cullen doll better f*cking sparkle! It'll look so purty when I go pyro on his a**.
The only thing they did right was perfectly capturing Kristen Stewart's dead-eyed emotionless face. Girl was made to play a Barbie!
No word on whether there will be Jacob Black wedding doll. I suggest a Chippendale's dancer tux to show off his stomach bling or just go full on Werewolf. I highly recommend you hide you baby dolls if you ever purchase a Jacob Black doll. He'll like imprint the sh*t out of dem babies!
Hide yo' babies! Hide yo' freezer full of Omaha steaks!
I guess this is good news for those lonesome Twihards, who will finally be able to have the Twilight wedding of their dreams. Only with dolls and not with real life them and real life Robert Pattinson. Too bad! So sad!
Because nothing turns a guy on more than a girl who randomly owns a wedding dress.
What do you think of creepy Twilight Wedding Barbies? Let me know @desijedeikin or in the comments below!