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Dancing With The Stars… We’re All Gonna Die!

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I actually watched the season premiere of Dancing With The Stars last night and from the ratings so did just about everyone else in America who wasn't watching Monday night Football.

Let's just start off by saying that the most annoying cast member is Jennifer Grey, HANDS DOWN.

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not buying it… she keeps making very serious faces. When learning a dance, to music used in the movie Dirty Dancing she burst into fake tears over her beloved dead former co-star Patrick Swayze. The pair danced together in the film classic Dirty Dancing and I guess she was having a fake flash back and burst into fake tears. Then she danced on to receive the highest score for the night, moving one of the judges to tears… literally. What a load of bullsh*t. She's a fake this show seems completely contrived… yet I couldn't turn the channel.

I found myself rooting for Bristol Palin. I can't tell if I actually liked her or if the media has told me that I'm supposed to like her. I mean, don't get me wrong, the girl is a complete knuckle head, but she's sincere and she gave it her best shot and you know what… it wasn't half bad. Kinda cute. A little stiff… but she loosened up considerably by the night of the show.

Also, did anyone else notice that her dancing partner seemed to be putting his arms around her a little bit much? I mean, it seems like he has a crush on her. She's kind of aloof… ladies, take note. She's not the hottest gal in Alaska, but she does have the right attitude to attract men.

The Situation was a total let down. In all fairness he did not have as much rehearsal time as the other celebs… but still, I don't know if that even mattered… I wanted him to impress me. To somehow prove me wrong about him with his beautiful and inspired dance… I wanted to see some depth… But the Situation, true to form, phoned it in and expected to slide by on his 6 pack abs and an fake confidence… the judges told him that it was not good enough and awarded him the lowest score of the night.

The Situation is now in a 3 way tie for last place with comedian Margaret Cho and The Hoff (who is like watching a surf board dance). I'm guessing Cho will be the first one to go, I missed her dance but saw a clip of it and it looked… bizarre.

If all the Germans in America get together and call in on the Hoff he'll last at least a few more weeks, and The Situation is going to go on at least a few more rounds I'm assuming…

I'll tell you the main lesson I learned watching Dancing With The Stars tonight… that we're all gonna die. Our bodies are decaying, and there's nothing we can do about it. We're gonna get old and we're gonna die.

I mean look at the Hoff! He was a sex symbol and he's literally decaying and dying right before our eyes.

When did Florence Henderson get so friggin' old? I mean, she's ancient. It looks like he's holding her up in this photo.

The dancing wasn't that great tonight, but that didn't seem to affect ratings… I think the ratings are based more on glitter than they are good dancing. If you're a fan of glitter, you'll get plenty of it. Glitter and old people's bodies falling apart before our eyes. If you like glitter and decay, you'll love Dancing With The Stars!


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