Digimon Wage War Against Pokémon Because of ‘Pokémon Go’: How Dare They Cross Into Their Digital World?

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Pokémon Go is a very impressive game (even if it has endangered the lives of the masses). Even after almost two years, it’s safe to say that Pokémon Go is a global phenomenon. This augmented reality video game still has kids and adults alike flocking to local parks and random back alleys for a chance to catch a gen 3 Wurmple. But according to some protected sources, Pokémon Go is in danger. Their threat? The Digimon.

Pokémon Go digimon standoff pose

The Digimon Will Rise.

Pokémon and Digimon both came to popularity in the ’90s, capturing the hearts and imaginations of kids all over the world. But unlike Pokémon, Digimon had a much less successful gaming franchise and quickly fell off the map, retreating to the Digiworld from whence it came.

However, with Pokémon Go, Pokémon have moved into digital plane, the Digimon’s only stronghold. And the Digimon are ready to fight. The next time a user tries to catch a Diglet, they may notice Gabumon lurking in the shadows with his glistening teeth. ‘What are you doing here?’ They’ll say. ‘And why are you smiling?’ He is not smiling. He’s hunting.

Pokémon Go gabumon teeth digimon

Eyes of fire.

Pokémon may seem like an innocent multimillion-dollar franchise, but be assured — they are not blameless. Sources indicate that when Niantic was developing the augmented reality digital plane for Pokémon Go, thousands of Digimon were forced from their homes in a blaze of hellfire only 25 Charizards and a Flameon could create. Many perished in the great “cleansing fires”, leaving only a small stretch of the Digiworld left standing.

But if the Digimon are so angry, why start the fight now? It’s true, the Digimon have waited a long time to take up to digital arms and claws and wings. Apparently it has to do with the recently announced Pokémon Go Summer Tour 2018. Even though last year’s fest was a disaster, this year it is projected to attract many adoring fans. And it will be the perfect time for the Digimon to strike back. They’re being led by former Digimon Tamer Tai. Remember Tai from the first anime series of Digimon? No? Oh, okay.

Pokémon Go tai cartoon boy

Still no? Okay.

By all accounts, the Digimon are prepped to start a war, with reports already surfacing of Digimon Mega Digivolving and tearing down gyms and Pokéstops. And for anyone looking for Mew, well, there’s bad news about that. It’s terrible what the Digimon did. Just awful. The proletariat is rising, and it won’t end until they change it from Pokémon Go to Pokémon Stop (a very clever play on words for a very real conflict). So be careful out there, and if you are still going to play Pokémon Go, at least watch where you’re going.

Pokémon Go street squirtle phone

Watch the road!

Are you scared of the digital uprising? Let me know on Twitter @bjrainstein!