Disney’s Rad New Robot Poses Like a Superhero in Mid-Air, Could Put Tom Holland Out of a Job
Let’s all remember today — July 3rd, 2018 — as the day the robot uprising officially began. Disney announced they’re working on animatronic robots that can take superheroic poses in mid-air. Check them out for yourself, and tremble before their awesome physical majesty:
This is… disconcerting. I was very comfortable with the idea that a robot could best me intellectually — robots have been beating me in chess since I first played it on PC (and that’s whatever, since chess is boring as hell). But the fact that robots now look more majestic than me while flying through the air? Looking majestic while in the air is the one thing I had going for me! It’s the reason my living will stipulates that should I ever fall into a coma and there is no medical recourse, I am to be thrown out of a plane! I will die doing what I love: looking sick as hell.
Now, Disney’s only begun working on these robots, so we won’t see them in theme parks for a while yet. But when we do, get ready for an influx of unemployed character actors. Why would Disney ever again hire a person to get into a big Pluto costume when they could have a robot who would not only function just as well in extreme heat but could also Spider-Man swing away at the first sign of an aggressive kid lashing out because he doesn’t have his emotional needs met at home?
And when those jobs are all taken by objectively superior super-robots, we’re going to see an influx of unemployed Disney actors. There aren’t a ton of job opportunities when your only professional experience is playing Aladdin.
What kind of robot do you fear will take your job? Let us know on Twitter @Smosh!